Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!
Today’s Question is: What do you do when you forgive someone?
I’ve had many comments and questions about my blog last week about forgiveness that I thought it would be helpful to go a bit more in depth on how to forgive. Remember, it’s a process. It takes time and regardless of what happened, you have to want to let go of the anger and resentment.
Wanting to let go of the anger and resentment is essential since you need a compelling reason why you want to forgive. Without a compelling reason you can act like you’ve forgiven but it just isn’t believable. If your brain doesn’t have a reason, it won’t forgive.
I know…I had a sister-in-law that I needed to forgive. Perhaps it’s your mother-in-law, your neighbor, or best friend…whoever it is – believe me…you need a reason to forgive. You need to visual a result you want that is better than anger and resentment.
For me it was to show my children and family that unconditional love trumps all. It was a way for me to let go and show love. It felt amazing. The reason it felt amazing was that I had been coached on it and had no expectation that her behavior would change just because I forgave. We don’t get to decide what the other person will do. We can only control how WE think, feel, and act.
Actions are driven by our feelings, so you will need to explore what feeling will drive the action you want. It is important to understand that the feeling will be the driver of the forgiveness. We all do things in our life because of a feeling we want or a feeling we don’t want. Are you driven by feeling anger and resentment or are you driven by love and understanding?
It’s your choice. YEP…our feelings are optional. It’s not easy to choose love, but it is totally worth it. If you choose to forgive from a place of understanding and from a place of being free, it’s empowering. You get to choose love, regardless of the situation.
Often clients think that forgiving and choosing love means that you are supporting and condoning what happened. That isn’t the case. Choosing love is about your ability to love. Loving someone unconditionally doesn’t say anything about the other person’s ability to love.
If someone doesn’t love you, it is only a reflection of their inability to love, not your inability to be loved.
You can only control your response to what happened and what is powerful is that love is always available. You may not be ready to choose love. You get to choose that. You get to choose when you’re ready to let go of the anger and resentment, but know it’s always available.
Visualizing the result you want…perhaps it’s peace in your life, perhaps it’s feeling love, perhaps it’s freedom from negativity…whatever the reason, choose the result you want, embrace it and work on what action you need to do to get that result.
I choose unconditional love. I choose to continue giving hugs, to continue inviting, to continue to think kind things…that felt good for me. Not initially…it was a process. It feels good to now have those feelings.
Understand that if someone is rude or ignorant about your child’s diabetes you can still choose love and understanding. Remember it’s always an option. You get to choose!
Want help forgiving that person and letting go of the anger and resentment. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching. Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?