DIABETES and AMBITION

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Is ambition a positive or negative trait?

Does having a child with diabetes mean you have to be ambitious? How do you define ambition?  I define it as, “a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.

What’s your take? Is it a negative quality or a commendable quality? To me, it whether or not it’s negative or positive is dependent on what’s it’s fueled by. What’s the result you want from your ambition?

Ambition inspires some people, while it turns others off. Ambition fueled by compassion and understanding is very different than ambition fueled by greed and jealousy.  When someone’s drive to achieve something comes at the expense of other people, while for others, their ambition comes from a place of wanting to make a contribution to the world.

What is your ambition fueled by? Is your ambition fueled by abundance or is it fueled by lack. When it’s fueled by lack, no cost is too high to achieve the end result. This is where workaholism, deceit, exploitation, and greed give ambition a bad name.

Ambition fueled by abundance is what moves us forward. It’s the trait that finds answers to insulin issues, it’s the trait that discovers technological issues such as the loop, and it’s the trait that finds solutions to our biggest diabetic issues.

Finding comfort in what we know and what we have is a first step, not the end game. Ambition, our desire for more, is what will keep us growing and evolving.

Have you considered what our world would be like if nobody was ambitious? I’m so thankful for all of you who have been ambitious in the world and for what you have created that contributes to a better quality of life for my child who has diabetes.

I can help you with the results you want in your life and how to fuel them by ambition. I can help your future to be fueled by abundance. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and CONSTRAINT

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  How are you managing Social Distancing and the Coronavirus?

It’s been a crazy week. The impact that the Coronavirus has had on our lives has been beyond incredible.  I started last week out in overwhelm. It seemed necessary. The panic seemed necessary. However, this week I began managing my life with constraint. Constraint may seem counterintuitive when it seems there is a shortage of food and supply but constraint will reduce the overwhelm.

What is constraint, anyhow? To me, it’s a limitation or restriction I put on myself that simplifies my life. Sounds easy, right? It’s not. At least not for me. I have a tendency to want to multi-task and manage everything at once. I then feel overwhelmed. By constraining and deciding ahead of time how I will manage my time and my focus I reduce overwhelm.

The reason that constraint is so important is because it reduces overwhelm. It makes decisions so much easier for me. Constraint is basically a rule that I set up for myself that helps me decide ahead of time how I’m going to find solutions and manage issues. It helps me decide ahead of time so last minute decisions don’t come into play.

Instead of managing all of the ever-changing issues that have come up with social distancing I decided to focus on one at a time. I decided ahead of time that life was going to be different and instead of thinking about how awful it all was I knew that I was going to manage one concern at a time. I was going to solve one issue at a time. It was difficult to stay out of panic and overwhelm, but I did it (most of the time).

You can learn constraint, as well. When you constrain your attention to one thing, you can be laser focused and disciplined with your mind. I have discovered that when I’m focused on one thing, I have more disciplined thinking, and my productivity goes through the roof.

Initially you won’t like constraint because you will want to keep your options open. You will begin to worry that you are missing out on something when you are focusing on just one thing. But keeping your options open is a huge mistake because you will have too many options. Too many things for your mind to think about.

Honestly, when you constrain yourself and make decisions ahead of time, it frees up your mind. Constraining the types of food you are eating, constraining exercising and physical health, and constraining social media all will help with managing your mind set.

When you make your decision about food, exercising, social media, etc ahead of time it will be easier to honor your commitment to yourself. Constraint reveals your ability to make a decision and keep a commitment to yourself.

It also reveals how your relationship is with yourself, and how willing you are to honor the commitments to yourself. I know that the more I honor my commitment to myself, the higher my self-esteem, and the better I feel about myself.

This week was absolutely challenging. I began each day with worry after reading about the new restrictions and concerns about the covid19. However, constraint completely allowed me to maintain composure and enabled me to focus on very few things at a time.

Having constrained to honor what’s important to me has been so much better than a lot of options and overwhelm.

nunI can help you manage the worry and the overwhelm you are feeling about the coronavirus. I can help teach you how you can constrain your life. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and WORRY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Are you feeling worried and anxious about the Coronavirus?

I hear you! I am too, or at least I was until I stopped and sat still for a moment. Initially, I went into panic mode. Calling a pharmacy in Canada asking if they had insulin and if I needed a script. The answer was no I didn’t need a script and each vial was $45.00 Canadian.  I was ready to make the 3 hour trek.

I paused. I thought. I halted the panic. I started to search for what my biggest concerns were and then how to manage those concerns. The answer didn’t come through worry. Worry wouldn’t find me solutions. I decided that there might be another option to secure extra insulin. I called my insurance company.  Yes they would approve an extra 90 day supply of insulin. I still have an option of driving. I then started to think of other possible long term issues and finding solutions to those.

Thinking and planning worked. Worry didn’t work….for me. I’m not sure what will work for you. What I am saying is that you have a choice as to how you want to think about what lies ahead.

What mindset do you want in the days and weeks ahead? Be curious as to why you are feeling the way you are. Ask yourself, “How would I choose to feel, if I had a choice?” You may choose to be worried. You may choose to read and educate yourself. You may choose to panic. You may choose to not care. It’s all available to you.

What thoughts are the ones that will serve you the best? What people in your life will support and empower you? What do you want your child to remember about this time?

I always tell my clients that if they were at a dinner party (not likely any time soon), but if they were and there was a silver platter being passed around with a whole bunch of emotions which one would you choose today? Which ones will help you find solutions? Which ones will help you find strength? Currently, I’m choosing strength, calm, compassion, and empathy.  I’m not sure about tomorrow but I do know tomorrow it will still be my choice.

If you look at Martin Seligman’s work on positive psychology it’s your mindset that determines the outlook. It’s your mindset that determines your reality. It’s not what’s happening outside of you that creates your reality. It’s your thoughts about what’s happening that does.

It’s possible to just start savoring your positive experiences and extracting the maximum positive emotions from them. Maximize your happiness with thoughts that you intentionally choose.

Let the worry go and work on finding solutions to what you are worrying about.

I can help you manage the worry and the overwhelm you are feeling about the coronavirus. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and BEING OFFENDED

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Do you get offended by the comments of others about diabetes?

There are so many times I’ve been offended by comments made by others about diabetes. I lost track of how many. I used to get so angry. I believed that their ignorance was something to be mad about. I believed that if I could fix all of the inappropriate comments I’d be happier.

Do you get those comments, too? Do you get angry about them? Does a comment from someone who should “know better” control your mood? Yep I get you! I used to do all of those things. Especially right after diagnosis. I was so angry that diabetes was in our life that any comment that I didn’t feel was appropriate would anger me.

I got tired of being angry. I got tired of blaming others for their comments. I got tired of letting the comments of others control my day. Yes I was letting them control my day. I was giving them permission to take control of my day. I was giving all of my power to them.

Once I knew that I was in charge of how I thought about the comments of others then I took control over my life. I took control over the ignorance of others. It’s not that I stop caring what others say. It’s just that I correct them in a way that doesn’t change my day.

I started being aware of how all of the comments about not eating sugar, about if we watched what our son ate he wouldn’t be diabetes were making me feel. I understood that every feeling came from a thought. I started to explore what my thought was that created all the anger I had from those comments.

I found out that the thought was that I was angry about diabetes being in my life and every time someone said something stupid it was a way for me to blame them, a way for me to be a victim of others’ comments. Of course, everyone agreed that I had a right to be angry but was that anger serving me?

Guess what? As soon as I realized that the anger was not helping me or my son I started working on how I wanted to respond. What I wanted to feel when someone made a comment. I decided on purpose that being offended only hurt me – only hurt my son. It gave him permission to not take charge of his own emotions.

Now when I hear someone thing that is ignorant or downright mean I pause and think about how I want it to affect me. How I want to respond? If I wanted to even respond? I started to just be curious about why people said such things?

I finally realized their comments were just a reflection of them. It only became a reflection of me when I let it control my emotions.

Yes there are times I want to be angry about what people say but only if it serves me. Most of the time it doesn’t serve me.

Be curious when you get offended. Figure out ahead of time how you want to respond. Keep all of your power! Show your child that they can keep their power!

If you’d like to stop being offended by the comments of others join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and MASSIVE ACTION

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Most days are you taking more massive or passive action?

I believe that massive action is part of being a mom of a child with diabetes. Massive action is the action that you are going to take and continue taking until you hit your goal. Passive action is all of the learning, studying, and listening to podcasts that you do before beginning to move towards your goal.

Massive action also included the process of anticipating obstacles and being willing to fail and try again, and fail, and take more action, and do it wrong, yet try again and on and on until you reach your goal.

The failing over and over again requires that you keep your sights on the goal, and that you are willing to do anything to get there. You will continue to try different ways, you will fail, and you will continue to tweak your actions until you hit your desired result.

That is massive action, and it’s a rare thing. Maybe not as rare when it comes to moms who have a child with diabetes but I used to think all of what I did was massive action but it was really just passive action.

I wasn’t pushing myself to be more positive, more future focused. I was using passive action, which is all the thing that are done “in preparation for” action. All of the intellectual action (studying, learning, listening to podcasts) is passive action.

Passive action has to do with consumption. Massive action has to do with creation.

So, how do you know if you’re taking massive or passion action?

How many times have you fallen on your face?

When you are taking massive action, you will fall on your face again and again because you will be pushed up against your obstacles and forced to try big things. You will fail fast.

When taking passive action, there is no risk involved. You are hiding, and failure is avoided.

Keep taking action until you get the result you want. That’s massive action. It doesn’t feel good to fail but if you stay away from shame and blame after failing and just keep working towards your goal you will get there!

Do you need some help understanding what massive action would look like for you? Would you like help managing the failure that comes with massive action? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and DISCOVERING THOUGHTS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have children with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Do you believe you can find and discover thoughts?

When I think about finding something it takes me to a thought about something being lost. However, when I started thinking about diabetes and the transition of thoughts I’ve had about the disease since diagnosis I understand the finding and discovering of thoughts.

Upon diagnosis and for varying lengths of time, default thoughts find us. We don’t go and find and discover new thoughts. It’s what our survival instinct tells us is necessary. We go into survival mode and most of the thoughts we generate are not positive or helpful. 

Initially, it’s natural to feel like a victim – a victim of diabetes. Then it becomes easy and comfortable to stay in that mode.  It’s what we get used to – it becomes a habit. I know because it’s what I was used to. I could blame diabetes for everything that went wrong and, of course, everyone would agree with me. Diabetes is awful and difficult.

However, that mentality wasn’t helping. It won’t help you either. It just meant that I wasn’t the one in charge of my life. I wasn’t looking for, finding, and discovering any of my thoughts. I was just floating along on survival mode. As I say, I was just sitting in a boat letting the current take me without picking up my paddle and heading towards a destination of my choosing.

The first thing I did when I wanted to take charge of the effect diabetes was having on my life was to just be aware of what my thoughts were. What were my current thoughts about diabetes? Then I asked myself, why I was choosing to think those thoughts? Were those thoughts useful to me or my child?

My suggestion is that you just become aware of when you are thinking on default mode. Awareness goes a long way to discovering new thoughts. Awareness is the first step towards exploring what you are capable of and how much courage and strength you actually possess.

Just be curious!  Curiosity can be the start of discovering a whole new life for yourself.

Want help exploring what your current thinking is about diabetes? Want help exploring what possible thoughts you might want to believe about diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and HAPPINESS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Do you believe that happiness and diabetes can coexist?

What if in this present moment, you were able to experience all of the joy you are anticipating in some future moment when diabetes is cured or easily controlled?  What if you capacity for happiness right now is exactly equal to your happiness at some future point in time?

Believe it or not…right this moment, you have the ability to be fully present and fully happy. This is great news!  We have the ability to control our thoughts and choose joy and happiness in the present moment, if that’s what we want.

We often think this isn’t possible. We think that we need to put in our “dues” now in exchange for some future moment of happiness. If we can get through things now, and survive, we can delay happiness until the future, when our child has the “perfect” A1C, when our diabetic supplies ordered arrive on time and without five phone calls confirming insurance and scripts, when we have more money and more time.

The truth is that circumstances (diabetes, our spouse, our job) are never responsible for our happiness – it is always our thoughts that are responsible. Your ability to be happy right now is at 100%. Your ability to be happy in the future is 100%.

Using your mind is the most efficient and most powerful way to ensure happiness. When you realize that your thoughts create happiness the world becomes open to so many possibilities. I am not saying that we want to be happy all the time because we don’t. We don’t want to be happy when we have a low blood sugar or are struggling to manage insulin amounts.

What I am saying is that happiness is a mindset and you can create it any time you desire to have it.

Most of my clients then ask me why they should set goals then, if happiness is available at every moment. I tell them the reason to set goals are so that you have a purpose. Also you’re able to see what you are capable of by setting goals.

Setting goals is a way for you to evolve into the best version of yourself. Goals gives your brain supervision and structure. You will always be the one responsible for creating your results but goals is a way to create results with intention.

The one thing I tell my clients is not to believe that they will be happier when they achieve something or when they are able to purchase something. What you don’t want to do is tell yourself you will be “happier” in the getting of things. It is this false sense that happiness is created by things when it is always created by your thinking.

Try and challenge yourself to find the awesomeness of this moment right now. When you are tempted to look to the future for something and you tell yourself, “I can’t wait…” try and step back and ask yourself, “Why can’t I wait?” What do you expect to feel when you get there or get that item? Then remember that you have the ability to feel that way right now.

Would you like some help with your happiness set point? I can help you find happiness with intention. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and when something BAD HAPPENS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Who do you want to be as you go through life with a child who has diabetes?

When something happens to you or your family as a result of diabetes do you automatically label it as bad? I used to…that’s because I believed that the diagnosis of diabetes was the worst thing that ever happened to us.

However, the most important thing I learned is that all problems were in my mind. I learned that a problem is a thought and it’s only a problem when I started to think about it.

Stay with me…if you’re thinking in a way that’s causing you pain, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or if it’s not true. Is the thought serving you? You need to be careful that you pay attention and make sure those thoughts are conscious and intentional.

Decide on purpose what you want to feel in that situation. I decided that I wanted to feel compassion, love and curiosity, no matter what happens with diabetes. Most of the time I can but for sure some of the times I just hate diabetes but at least I know there’s an option.

Some really good questions are: Who do you want to be as you go through life with a child who has diabetes? Do you want to feel frustrated and scared, like a victim? Or open to solutions and strong?

You can argue with your thoughts but there is no upside to doing that. There is no place where you can be creative and wise when you’re arguing with your thoughts or beating yourself up because you aren’t managing diabetes “right” – if there is such a thing.

What you can do instead, is just notice your thoughts that are creating your emotions. Most of time, when you are feeling helpless and disempowered, it’s because you’re identifying yourself as a victim.

All of your power in a “bad” situation is knowing and really understanding that the circumstance is neutral. You get to control what you think about it. When you do focus on what you can control, you get back in the driver’s seat.

A powerful thought to think is, “What is meant to happen does. It was always going to go down this way, and nothing has gone wrong.” Then ask yourself: “If I knew that this was always going to happen, how would I show up differently?”

You’re going to run into obstacles in your life, and those obstacles are part of the deal. They’re supposed to happen. They’re part of the process of being human.

Some helpful questions to ask yourself are: What does this situation offer me? What is the opportunity here? What can I learn from this? How can I use this to make me stronger? What feels most like love right now?

“Bad” things happen. It means that you’re a human being on the planet, and this is what happens in life. You get to decide how you want to show up for things…show up with diabetes as part of your life.

Would you like help taking control over your thoughts about diabetes? Would you like to stop feeling like a victim of the disease? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and HARD DAYS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Do you have hard days caused by diabetes?

Remember that a hard day does not exist without your thoughts. Read that sentence again.

A hard day does not exist without your thoughts.

Days just happen. They are 24 hour periods of time. There are not hard or easy unless our mind thinks so. It’s not the day that’s hard or easy.

It is our thoughts about the day that makes it hard or easy. A hard day is not made by diabetes. That’s a crazy idea, right?

I used to believe that diabetes made every day hard. Of course, it did! Blood sugar numbers were difficult to manage. All of the supply ordering never went smoothly. It always entailed long conversations with my health insurance company and our endocrinologists office.

Of course, diabetes made my days hard. Guess what I realized? That diabetes was not responsible for making my days hard. It was my thinking that made my days hard.

I could choose to think any thoughts I wanted about my day. I could choose to be happy that we had diabetes and not some other disease. I could choose to think that diabetes made us stronger as a family. I could choose to think diabetes was a blessing.

The above thoughts were not thoughts I wanted to choose. I wanted to believe that diabetes made my day hard. I didn’t want to take responsibility. I liked being a victim. It was comfortable and it was what I was used to. It was a habit.

It was a habit I had to break. I learned a few tools. Tools that allowed me to be fully responsible, fully accountable for my life. At first, it was scary. I was afraid of being wrong.

What if I was not in charge of my thoughts? What if diabetes was in charge of my days?

I’m happy to report that my thoughts are in charge. That’s such a relief. I get to decide on purpose which days are hard and which ones are easy.

Somedays I think, “It’s going to be a hard day…” after a rough night of blood sugars…but I use that thought as a motivator. My next thought is “…And I can do hard things.”

Most people think “It’s going to be a hard day…” and use it as a reason not to show up, to hide, and to be a victim of diabetes. Their thoughts are controlled by blood sugar numbers. They use the numbers as an indication of the day they are going to have instead of using the numbers as feedback.

If you’re telling the story of a hard day, you can also tell a story of a great day because it’s there too. You’re just not choosing to focus on it. The day was just the day. Good and bad. Hard and easy.

You can choose which you’d like to see and focus on. You get to choose the lens you view your life through. Tell yourself the version of the story you want to choose.

You can choose to have no hard days. How? Choose only to focus on the good in every day. Of course, I don’t want that either. I want to think days are hard when life is difficult but I want to know it’s my choice.

I still have days that are hard, but I now know I’m choosing to think they are hard. Every day is 24 hours and neutral. I get to decide if it’s hard or easy.

Want help taking charge of your hard days? Want help being fully responsible for your thoughts and your life? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

Mind Body Radio Interview

It was an honor and privilege to be a guest on Mind Body Radio. Have a listen to the broadcast. The link is below! I’m always excited to share my message and to increase my impact on the world. Please share with all of your friends who have a child with diabetes. My FREE one-on-one sessions are personal and confidential and help tremendously. Spending 30 minutes chatting and learning a few tools can surely change the vision of how diabetes shows up in your life and in the life of your child. Just go to my Diabetes Inspired FB page and click on BOOK NOW to schedule your session or email me HERE if you have any questions.

https://mindbodyradio.com/daily-show/episode/Lisa-Lander