DIABETES and REALITY

DIABETES and REALITY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Is your life how you imaged it would be?

I know mine surely wasn’t when my son was diagnosed with diabetes.  I had an idea of how it was supposed to be and that was the problem. The image of what my life should look like with four children did not align with my reality.

So I did what most of us do…argue against reality for years. I fought against diabetes because it wasn’t in any version of what I imaged for my life, or for my son. I realized I argued with lots of parts of my reality. Then I realized the reason I was unhappy was that my reality did not match what I thought my life should look like.

The next thing I realized is that there was no upside to thinking my life should be different than it was. The thought that someone else was doing it better than I was, totally didn’t help

I realized that no one is doing it 100% right, no one is doing it 100% wrong and no one had a better life. I realized that I needed to stop waiting for a better version of my life to start enjoying. I needed to stop waiting for my circumstance to change, for there to be a cure, an easier way to manage diabetes or something outside of myself to change to be happy.

I decided that I can have the life of my dreams, even with diabetes. I can have this human, imperfect life, and still be happy. However, I needed to stop living on default mode and start managing my mind.

I let go of the thought that my life should be good and easy. Also that it shouldn’t include diabetes.  Instead I expected it to be hard and to do the work necessary to be happy. I decided to stop arguing with reality.

Also I realized that the reason I was willing to do hard work was just not to be happy, but to learn and grow. I decided that just being happy wasn’t the goal it was wanting to change the world, wanting to contribute, and waiting to keep growing.

Diabetes, surely, allows me to do that.

Want to stop arguing with reality and begin to embrace it? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and INTUITION

DIABETES and INTUITION

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you mistake fear for intuition?

A lot of the time what happens is that thoughts of fear and doubt and frustration get misinterpreted as intuition not to do something.

There’s intuition and then there’s negative thinking disguised at intuition. How do we access our intuition?

We have to clear up our negative thinking in order to access our true desiers.

I believe that our true desires are our guidance. I also think that a lot of us don’t even actually know what we want or like. We haven’t really stopped to think about what we want or desire.

We are too busy with blood sugars, ordering supplies, managing all of the different parts of diabetes that we never really think about what we want. Our desires are not going to come find us. We’ve got to go looking for them.

When I say go look for them, I don’t mean go out in the world. I think the best place to go looking is within yourself. The more work you do to clean up your mind, the more access you’ll have to your true desires. The ones that are currently covered in negative thinking.

Diabetes and negative thinking seems to go hand in hand. Right? It doesn’t have to. We can have dreams and desires but we have to take time and clean up our mind. It’s not for those who just like to live on default mode. In fact, most people would rather avoid it and turn off the lights to avoid seeing the “clutter.”

But when you really dig in and start to examine your thinking about diabetes you’ll discover that intuition you’ve been looking for.

By doing the thought work and really cleaning up your thoughts, you are better able to know what is just negative thoughts and emotions, and what is the truth.

The best question to ask yourself: “is what I’m feeling based in truth?” If it’s based in truth then it’s not just a negative thought. Sometimes our negative thoughts are disguised as truths but they are just sneaky little negative thoughts.

Do a thought download and decipher the facts from the thoughts. Awareness is always the first step.

Want help managing your negative thinking about diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and HOW TO PRACTICE THINKING

DIABETES and HOW TO PRACTICE THINKING

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: How often do you practice thinking new thoughts?

Is practicing new thoughts even necessary? I think it is because it allows us to create new feelings and new results in our lives. If you’ve followed the foundation of what I teach – our thoughts create our feelings, which in turn drives our actions and then thus determines the results we get in our lives. Yes we are in charge of the results we get in our lives.

That’s the best news ever!  With intentional thoughts we get to decide how we want diabetes to impact our lives. However, it requires practice and effort to get intentional results.

Our brain wants to stay in default mode. It doesn’t want to think intentionally. It’s easier to stay with the same thoughts. The thoughts that tell you that diabetes is hard, the thoughts that say life is going to always be difficult, the thought that keeps asking, “why me?” “why my child?”

Our brain is designed to focus on what’ important and what matters and to filter out anything that isn’t. Once it determines what’s important it focuses on that, it becomes efficient and wants to focus on thoughts that are easy, delegating the thoughts to our unconscious mind.

This is awesome for driving and brushing our teeth but not for creating a new belief system around diabetes.  It’s like learning a new skill. We need to think with intention how we want to think about diabetes.

This process actually creates new neuropathways in our brain. There’s a three part process to thinking new thoughts:

  1. Becoming aware of your current thinking.
  2. Change it to what you want to be thinking.
  3. Practice what you want to be thinking on a regular basis until it becomes unconscious.

First decide how you want to think about diabetes. What’s the result you want in your life with diabetes as a part of it? Then figure out what thoughts you need to believe in order to create and feel and do what it is you want to do. Then make a list of those thoughts. Actually write them down. Check in with those thoughts and make sure they are believable and that they feel good when you read them.

Thoughts create results! Practice thinking the thoughts that will produce the results you most want.

Want help becoming aware of what your current thinking is and finding new believable thoughts? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and APPROPRIATE DISCOMFORT

DIABETES and APPROPRIATE DISCOMFORT

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you welcome appropriate discomfort or do you numb discomfort?

What is appropriate discomfort anyhow? It’s the idea that it’s normal and important to allow ourselves to be uncomfortable. If we can understand it, not just intellectually, but really apply it to our lives, it will change everything.

Marianne Williamson writes about our popular culture being a numbing agent since society is always selling us ways to be inappropriately comfortable. It’s like we are feel entitled to always be comfortable.

However, having a child with diabetes still doesn’t mean that we have appropriate discomfort since we all have a tendency to not be uncomfortable. We all try to change something external to make us comfortable. This is exactly what we shouldn’t do. When we are in a negative emotional state, we need to allow the emotion, not run from it by changing everything about our circumstances. When you are able to allow an emotion before you react, you prevent compounding that emotion.

When we are quick to change an external circumstance to resist the negative emotion we ignore what we are feeling. We need to know when we are anxious, depressed or sad so that we can adjust our thoughts, feelings and actions to get better results in our lives.

Being human means that we will suffer. When we can embrace that suffering is part of the deal, it makes it kind of pointless to diminish it. If one of the reasons we need suffering is to evolve ourselves, then to numb out the suffering defeats the purpose of being alive. Diabetes is an opportunity to feel all that the world has to offer. It’s an opportunity to grow and learn what you are truly capable of.

Want help embracing appropriate discomfort? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and MAKING YOURSELF PROUD

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: What is the best feeling in the world for you?

For me it’s being proud. I love to feel proud of myself. I love it so much that I practice feeling it often.

It’s an emotion that I have to make a very conscious effort to create in my life. It isn’t naturally occurring in my life. Proud is the emotion and it comes from a thought. A thought that I need to create that’s believable. Having a child with diabetes certainly doesn’t make it easier to be proud. There are so many variables to our day that choosing one thing to be proud of is often difficult.

Take a minute to think about what would make you feel proud? Notice that it’s not the actual act of doing the thing that makes you feel proud – just thinking about it can bring you the feeling. Feeling proud of your ability to manage diabetes doesn’t mean you have perfect blood sugars every day. It means you do the best you can. You can be proud of yourself regardless of what your child’s A1C is?

Feeling proud is a gift you can give yourself. It doesn’t have to be based on anyone else or anything else.

We often thing that we have to do something first to feel proud of ourselves. I’ve learned the opposite is true. When we feel proud of ourselves, we often move forward to taking the action that will bring us more of the feeling of proud. I’m proud of the bond I have with my T1D. It doesn’t depend on what he thinks or feels. It depends on what I make it mean. The result I want from diabetes is a bond like no other because of diabetes.

Google says the definitely of pride is, “a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction as the result of one’s achievements.”

I think those achievements can be in the past, present, or future, and I don’t think they have to be huge. We simply have to choose to think about our lives in a way that brings up those feelings. We get to believe that because of diabetes we are stronger and better at being a mom than if diabetes never entered our world.

We don’t ever have to wait for someone to be proud of us. It’s our job.

Want help exploring thoughts that make you proud? Want to be proud of yourself more often? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and HAPPINESS

DIABETES and HAPPINESS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you spend days wishing you could just be happy?

Guess what? There is no happiness that we are going to find in our future. That is…that we don’t already have access to right now. Happiness comes from a thought. A thought about something that makes you happy.

So if happiness comes from a thought, which is just a sentence in our brain, then what is stopping us from creating happiness right now. Our thoughts!  Correct!

What is it that stops us from creating happiness? For me it’s that I don’t want to be happy all the time. I want to be sad when something terrible happens. I want to be sad or disappointed when I don’t get the results I’ve been working towards.

However, I understand that I don’t want happiness at those points. I choose to be sad. I like to live my life with intention so choosing my emotion is the best way I know how. Also that means I get to choose happiness with intention, as well. Remember true happiness can only come from a thought that’s believable. If you just tell yourself a thought that you’d like to believe, it can’t create true happiness. It’s a process.

However, if you are working on thoughts you’d like to believe, try a few out, and work through a process of changing your brain so that thought becomes believable. First become aware of what thoughts are creating which results. Second understand that those thoughts are optional and slowly change your thought process to incorporate the new thought. Third your brain becomes rewired to believe that new thought.

The process doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and dedication. It takes being uncomfortable, but it is so worth the effort. Knowing that you can choose how you think about a situation is truly powerful. Knowing that it’s up to you to decide, is the best news ever.

You get to decide how you want diabetes to impact your life. You get to choose which thoughts serve you and which don’t.

Want help exploring the thoughts you have about diabetes? Want to choose happiness more often intentionally? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and CIRCUMSTANCES

DIABETES and CIRCUMSTANCES

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you believe that diabetes is just a circumstance?

The whole mindset around diabetes and taking control over your life and the impact diabetes has on it stems from diabetes being a circumstance. A circumstance to me is something that’s a fact. Just a fact. It is totally neutral. When I try and determine if something is a circumstance I ask myself if it can be proven and if 99.9% of the world would agree with that statement.

So…can it be proven that my child has diabetes? Yes. Would 99.9% of the world agree that my child has diabetes? Yes. That makes diabetes a circumstance.

That’s the best news ever. That means that diabetes is neutral. It means it is not negative or positive until I have a thought about it. About now you are arguing with me saying that it’s negative. Let’s ask the same questions of diabetes but in that diabetes is negative.

So…can it be proven that my child’s diabetes is negative? I can surely find scientific evidence that it is but is there be evidence that it’s positive? I actually know people who have found evidence that diabetes is positive. Their child is more responsible because of diabetes. Their child is more compassionate because of diabetes. Their child eats healthier because of diabetes. They have a stronger bond because of diabetes.

Thus diabetes being negative is not a circumstance. It’s not a fact. Best News EVER! That means we both get to decide what We want to believe about diabetes. We can intentionally decide. We have a choice. Doesn’t sound possible? It is.

I actually had a client who was thankful for diabetes. Their child was thought to have cancer and it ended up to be diabetes. They were thankful. Diabetes is neutral until you have a thought about it.

You get to decide how to think about diabetes. Take some time to examine your thoughts. Think about what’s believable to you. As I tell my clients, you can’t go from being angry and hating diabetes one day to loving it and feeling blessed to have diabetes in your life the next. It’s a process. It takes time and it only works if you are willing to embrace the change. Embrace the discomfort that will get you there. If you are willing to process the negative emotion you have about diabetes first.

It doesn’t mean that you are going to jump for joy that your child has diabetes. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that you get to figure out the results you want for your life and how you think about diabetes. My belief is that if you look for the bad you’ll find it, but also true is if you look for the good, you will find it, too.  Look for the silver lining this week. It’s there.

Want help exploring what diabetes means to you and your family? Want to explore new thoughts and what those results would be in your life if you thought them? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and SO WHAT?

DIABETES and SO WHAT?

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Have you ever asked yourself, “So what are you making having a child with diabetes mean?”

Until recently I never did. I never thought I had a choice in what I made it mean. I thought that it was awful and I would spend my life being a victim of it. I thought that diabetes would control my world and the world of my son.

Guess what? I was wrong. I realized that our brain is a very sophisticated device that can take a lot of input and filters out what’s unimportant. What we tell our brain is important and it’s what our brain looks for. Our brain has to be told what matters. If it’s not told, it will just operate on default.

I operated on default for years. It was what I needed to do. However, there’s a better way. I realized that if you have a belief system you haven’t chosen consciously, your brain will continually look for evidence to prove those true.

I learned it’s important to direct our thinking because our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings are really the most important thing to us. Our brain’s main motivation is to feel less pain and to feel more comfort. Our thoughts are constantly creating our feelings, so we need to be aware of what we’re choosing to think. Most of us have no idea what we’re choosing to think. We’re just feeling whatever we’re feeling by default.

When you ask yourself, “So what? What are you making diabetes mean?” this will reveal your thinking. Just asking yourself this question can completely set you free because it makes you realize that everything after that question is the story you’re spinning. It’s not reality.

There’s so much power in becoming aware of your belief system and noticing what you’re finding evidence for. It’s a beautiful thing when we see evidence for things that make us feel empowered and positive, but most of us are using our brains to create evidence for something negative, and it’s bringing us a result we don’t want.

You get to tell the story of your life. That’s one of the gifts you have as a human being. You get to make up the meaning you give to everything. You can make it mean something wonderful and amazing, or you can make it mean something terrible and awful.

It’s your choice. So what are you going to make it mean that you have a child with diabetes?

Want help exploring what you are making diabetes mean in your life? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and SELF RESPONSIBILITY

DIABETES and SELF RESPONSIBILITY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you blame diabetes or someone else for causing you to feel a certain way?

Any time we think something (diabetes) or someone else is causing us to feel a certain way, we are not taking responsibility for our feelings. We are delegating that responsibility to something or someone else.

Self-responsibility means accepting that you’re the one creating your feelings. You will need to choose to take responsibility for yourself again and again. Over and over again.

On default mode it is easiest to blame something or someone else. It’s living our life without intention. It’s giving all of our power, our destiny, our agency over to whatever we are blaming.

I used to blame diabetes, but the day I realized it wasn’t serving me or my son I began working on taking self-responsibility. Owning that it’s my thoughts that create the feelings about diabetes.

Feeling angry at diabetes doesn’t help anyone. It actually does that opposite. It leaves me powerless.

However, once I took self-responsibility, I had a tendency to blame myself. Since I wasn’t blaming diabetes I began blaming myself. That wasn’t useful or surely didn’t serve me.

I began to just take responsibility for all of my thoughts about diabetes. I just became aware of what my thoughts were and didn’t blame myself for them. Then I told myself that nothing had gone wrong in my life when diabetes arrived. I’m human living a human life and there are supposed to be challenges.

I realized that I had the power to decide how I respond to those challenges. All of my feelings are caused by a thought which is just a sentence in my brain. I slowly changed that sentence in my brain (my thoughts) about diabetes.

It was a slow process but the best work I’ve ever done for myself and my family. I practiced taking self-responsibility. My brain (and yours) is the most powerful tool on the planet. By taking responsibility for everything your brain does, you fully reclaim your power and your ability to use it as a tool.

That is the best news ever!

Would you like help taking full responsibility for your life and to stop blaming diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and PREFRONTAL POWER

DIABETES and PREFRONTAL POWER

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Are you using your prefrontal power to manage your diabetes or letting your automatic cerebellum decide for you in the moment?

We have two parts to our brain. Our prefrontal cortex, which is where we make conscious decisions and we have our cerebellum, which is our automatic consciousness and is efficient and already programmed.

Our prefrontal cortex is the most evolved part of our brains and it’s where our executive function occurs. It can decide ahead of time, create goals, envision dreams and devise plans.  It does things with intention. However it does use a lot of energy and effort.

Our cerebellum comes up with reactions, solutions, and actions very quickly without much energy involved. The brain likes to be efficient and it likes to expend as little energy as possible. It defaults to the pre-programmed brain whenever possible.

Because our brains like to be efficient, it likes to be familiar and comfortable. We have developed an attachment to the familiar in order to survive. The brain is not motivated to go in and re-evaluate things that it does efficiently. You have to direct your prefrontal to do that evaluation on purpose because it takes more effort and energy.

Many of us have neural pathways of desire that are in our brains, and we think those neural pathways are just part of our personalities. The fact is, we’ve learned to like something or not like something. Think about that automatic pathways that you have created in your brain that aren’t serving you. False desire is a neural pathway that produces a feeling of desire, but it’s not something you want, like the desire to overeat or overdrink.

Neural pathways are formed by paying attention to something and then repeating it over and over. You also can have a thought error in a neural pathway. It’s a thought that’s running in your brain that you haven’t looked at to decide whether or not it’s serving you.

Parts of our lives that we don’t care for and want to change, need effort and energy to change them. We need to activate our prefrontal power to change the old neural pathways. Slow, deliberate effort, consistently repeated is what changes the old habits in your life. It requires attention and repetition. It takes practice and effort.

If you want a different A1C result or if you want to stop allowing diabetes to dictate aspects of your life you have to use your prefrontal power to do that. You have to become aware of what your default setting is and then consciously go about changing it. Using small, simple, steps is the best way to change a habit.

Break it down to the smallest, simplest step and then slowly move forward with that step. Using your prefrontal power is what is necessary to move towards goals in the future. Your prefrontal planning power mode helps you make your dreams reality.

Use your highest executive prefrontal power to design your life instead of letting your automatic cerebellum decide for you in the moment.

Decide ahead of time how you want diabetes to impact your life. You can do that from a place of power and strength by using your prefrontal cortex or from a power of default using your cerebellum.

Would you like to learn how to engage your prefrontal power to improve the effect diabetes has on your life? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?