DIABETES and JEALOUSY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you feel jealous of other moms who have children who don’t have diabetes?

Jealousy is the feeling that someone else has something we can’t have. Jealousy comes from a sense of scarcity. A belief that there’s not to go around.

Not enough of what? What do we want that they have? I used to spend most of my time jealous of other moms who didn’t have to wake all night checking blood sugars. I used to be consumed by all of the things that made my life different.

But I realized that the feeling that another mom has something I couldn’t have is ridiculous. I had a child who was incredible.  He could overcome any obstacle and had so much grit as a result of diabetes. It is within my capabilities to choose how I wanted to think about diabetes.

Did I want to think diabetes was something that we should hate? Initially, yes. But as time went on I didn’t want me or my family to go through life despising diabetes. What would that do for us? That thought would not serve us.

I knew that it was my thoughts about diabetes that were causing me to think that my life was not what I wanted or was by no means a vision of what I expected. I knew those thoughts were optional. I finally realized that my life was richer and more fulfilling because of diabetes.

I began to embrace all of the strength that I had because I was a mom with a child with diabetes. I began to realize that I was stronger and more capable because of diabetes. What was I jealous of?

Nothing. I had it all. I had a family who was brought closer by a disease. Diabetes allowed us to treasure each other at a different level. It created this support system where my four children became each other’s safety net. That happened because of diabetes.

The most common theme of parents that I coach is that they are jealous of moms who don’t have to worry about insulin, blood sugars, what their children have to eat and a whole list of the things we do as moms of children with diabetes. However, I’m here to tell you that jealousy is optional.

Let me help you manage your thoughts of jealousy. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and KNOWING vs NOT KNOWING

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you say, “I don’t know” often?

When we say, “I don’t know” we are denying our own wisdom. It’s about not wanting to be conscious, no wanting to move forward, and not wanting to figure it out. “I don’t know” does not serve you. That one phrase blocks all access to your ability to discover answers.

Knowing something means you believe in your conscious thought. Not knowing means you’re not believing something or you haven’t made it conscious, yet. Instead of saying, “I don’t know,” I encourage you to say, “I’m figuring it out,” or “I’m finding the answer.”

The only way you can know something is by making the unknown, which is your unconscious mind, known. I suggest that you do a thought download. Unload all of your current thoughts onto a piece of paper for 5 minutes.  Pay attention to what’s going on in your mind.

What are your current thoughts? Are they something you feel in control of? What are your thoughts about diabetes? Do you control diabetes or does diabetes control you?

When we say, “I don’t know.” We are resisting and avoiding that thing. Our brain wants us to only do what’s familiar and efficient, so it tries to keep us in the known, the routine, and in efficiency. When our brain wants to explore the unknow there is a biological reaction of danger and fear.

The first step of going into the unknown is to refuse to say or think, “I don’t know.” Saying it stops your brain from looking for answers. One of the best ways to know something is to try a bunch of things that don’t work.

Become aware of what you do know. That’s a great way to begin lots of sentences. “Here’s what I know for sure.” Any time a question is asked of you and your knee-jerk reaction is to say, “I don’t know, “ instead say, “Well, here’s what I do know,” and start listing the things that you know instead of focusing on the thing you think you don’t’ know.

You’ll never know it, if you keep telling yourself you don’t know.

You either know, or you’re finding the answer.

Let me help manage your thoughts so that you no longer stop figuring out solutions by telling yourself, “I don’t know.” . Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and ACCEPTANCE REQUIRES EFFORT

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Can you possibly accept the past as if you had chosen it?

If you could it surely would require some effort. The definition of acceptance is the action of consenting, and I just love the idea that we have the option to consent. I’m not saying that you have to, but wouldn’t it be easier if we could just accept diabetes into our lives and not continue to fight against it?

If you could genuinely consent as if you had chosen it – wouldn’t your life be so much better if you agreed and accepted everything that has happened in your past? I don’t think we should think that it’s been all rainbows and puppy tails but take it all as feedback to move yourself and your family forward with intention.

What would it be like to not argue with the fact that your child has diabetes? Not to think that your life should be different than it is? Not to think that it would be better without diabetes?

I’ve found that my life is exponentially better by having accepted it. It isn’t that I love diabetes but I have embraced it. I have taken the blood sugar numbers as feedback.  I no longer allow them to dictate my day.  They are very important numbers and I treat them with great respect but my management of them was clouded by judgement.

Once we get into self judgement it distracts our brain from moving forward and managing the issue at hand. So acceptance, which required work and continues to requires work, has actually allowed me to maintain better numbers.

The best way to accept diabetes is to just become aware of  what your thoughts are and then to ask yourself, “Are these thoughts serving me?”  If they are, keep them. If they aren’t, like my thoughts often aren’t, I ask myself what the is the result I want from having diabetes in my life. That result is that I want diabetes to empower me to be the best mom and how I do that is to think that diabetes makes me stronger and more capable of overcoming obstacles.

Some days this is believable and others it takes more work to get to that thought.  Remember we are all a work in progress. We can let diabetes dictate our lives or we can take control over our thoughts and control the narrative that we tell ourselves about diabetes.

If you’d like to take more control over your narrative then please join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and REALITY

DIABETES and REALITY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Is your life how you imaged it would be?

I know mine surely wasn’t when my son was diagnosed with diabetes.  I had an idea of how it was supposed to be and that was the problem. The image of what my life should look like with four children did not align with my reality.

So I did what most of us do…argue against reality for years. I fought against diabetes because it wasn’t in any version of what I imaged for my life, or for my son. I realized I argued with lots of parts of my reality. Then I realized the reason I was unhappy was that my reality did not match what I thought my life should look like.

The next thing I realized is that there was no upside to thinking my life should be different than it was. The thought that someone else was doing it better than I was, totally didn’t help

I realized that no one is doing it 100% right, no one is doing it 100% wrong and no one had a better life. I realized that I needed to stop waiting for a better version of my life to start enjoying. I needed to stop waiting for my circumstance to change, for there to be a cure, an easier way to manage diabetes or something outside of myself to change to be happy.

I decided that I can have the life of my dreams, even with diabetes. I can have this human, imperfect life, and still be happy. However, I needed to stop living on default mode and start managing my mind.

I let go of the thought that my life should be good and easy. Also that it shouldn’t include diabetes.  Instead I expected it to be hard and to do the work necessary to be happy. I decided to stop arguing with reality.

Also I realized that the reason I was willing to do hard work was just not to be happy, but to learn and grow. I decided that just being happy wasn’t the goal it was wanting to change the world, wanting to contribute, and waiting to keep growing.

Diabetes, surely, allows me to do that.

Want to stop arguing with reality and begin to embrace it? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and INTUITION

DIABETES and INTUITION

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you mistake fear for intuition?

A lot of the time what happens is that thoughts of fear and doubt and frustration get misinterpreted as intuition not to do something.

There’s intuition and then there’s negative thinking disguised at intuition. How do we access our intuition?

We have to clear up our negative thinking in order to access our true desiers.

I believe that our true desires are our guidance. I also think that a lot of us don’t even actually know what we want or like. We haven’t really stopped to think about what we want or desire.

We are too busy with blood sugars, ordering supplies, managing all of the different parts of diabetes that we never really think about what we want. Our desires are not going to come find us. We’ve got to go looking for them.

When I say go look for them, I don’t mean go out in the world. I think the best place to go looking is within yourself. The more work you do to clean up your mind, the more access you’ll have to your true desires. The ones that are currently covered in negative thinking.

Diabetes and negative thinking seems to go hand in hand. Right? It doesn’t have to. We can have dreams and desires but we have to take time and clean up our mind. It’s not for those who just like to live on default mode. In fact, most people would rather avoid it and turn off the lights to avoid seeing the “clutter.”

But when you really dig in and start to examine your thinking about diabetes you’ll discover that intuition you’ve been looking for.

By doing the thought work and really cleaning up your thoughts, you are better able to know what is just negative thoughts and emotions, and what is the truth.

The best question to ask yourself: “is what I’m feeling based in truth?” If it’s based in truth then it’s not just a negative thought. Sometimes our negative thoughts are disguised as truths but they are just sneaky little negative thoughts.

Do a thought download and decipher the facts from the thoughts. Awareness is always the first step.

Want help managing your negative thinking about diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and HOW TO PRACTICE THINKING

DIABETES and HOW TO PRACTICE THINKING

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: How often do you practice thinking new thoughts?

Is practicing new thoughts even necessary? I think it is because it allows us to create new feelings and new results in our lives. If you’ve followed the foundation of what I teach – our thoughts create our feelings, which in turn drives our actions and then thus determines the results we get in our lives. Yes we are in charge of the results we get in our lives.

That’s the best news ever!  With intentional thoughts we get to decide how we want diabetes to impact our lives. However, it requires practice and effort to get intentional results.

Our brain wants to stay in default mode. It doesn’t want to think intentionally. It’s easier to stay with the same thoughts. The thoughts that tell you that diabetes is hard, the thoughts that say life is going to always be difficult, the thought that keeps asking, “why me?” “why my child?”

Our brain is designed to focus on what’ important and what matters and to filter out anything that isn’t. Once it determines what’s important it focuses on that, it becomes efficient and wants to focus on thoughts that are easy, delegating the thoughts to our unconscious mind.

This is awesome for driving and brushing our teeth but not for creating a new belief system around diabetes.  It’s like learning a new skill. We need to think with intention how we want to think about diabetes.

This process actually creates new neuropathways in our brain. There’s a three part process to thinking new thoughts:

  1. Becoming aware of your current thinking.
  2. Change it to what you want to be thinking.
  3. Practice what you want to be thinking on a regular basis until it becomes unconscious.

First decide how you want to think about diabetes. What’s the result you want in your life with diabetes as a part of it? Then figure out what thoughts you need to believe in order to create and feel and do what it is you want to do. Then make a list of those thoughts. Actually write them down. Check in with those thoughts and make sure they are believable and that they feel good when you read them.

Thoughts create results! Practice thinking the thoughts that will produce the results you most want.

Want help becoming aware of what your current thinking is and finding new believable thoughts? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and APPROPRIATE DISCOMFORT

DIABETES and APPROPRIATE DISCOMFORT

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you welcome appropriate discomfort or do you numb discomfort?

What is appropriate discomfort anyhow? It’s the idea that it’s normal and important to allow ourselves to be uncomfortable. If we can understand it, not just intellectually, but really apply it to our lives, it will change everything.

Marianne Williamson writes about our popular culture being a numbing agent since society is always selling us ways to be inappropriately comfortable. It’s like we are feel entitled to always be comfortable.

However, having a child with diabetes still doesn’t mean that we have appropriate discomfort since we all have a tendency to not be uncomfortable. We all try to change something external to make us comfortable. This is exactly what we shouldn’t do. When we are in a negative emotional state, we need to allow the emotion, not run from it by changing everything about our circumstances. When you are able to allow an emotion before you react, you prevent compounding that emotion.

When we are quick to change an external circumstance to resist the negative emotion we ignore what we are feeling. We need to know when we are anxious, depressed or sad so that we can adjust our thoughts, feelings and actions to get better results in our lives.

Being human means that we will suffer. When we can embrace that suffering is part of the deal, it makes it kind of pointless to diminish it. If one of the reasons we need suffering is to evolve ourselves, then to numb out the suffering defeats the purpose of being alive. Diabetes is an opportunity to feel all that the world has to offer. It’s an opportunity to grow and learn what you are truly capable of.

Want help embracing appropriate discomfort? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and MAKING YOURSELF PROUD

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: What is the best feeling in the world for you?

For me it’s being proud. I love to feel proud of myself. I love it so much that I practice feeling it often.

It’s an emotion that I have to make a very conscious effort to create in my life. It isn’t naturally occurring in my life. Proud is the emotion and it comes from a thought. A thought that I need to create that’s believable. Having a child with diabetes certainly doesn’t make it easier to be proud. There are so many variables to our day that choosing one thing to be proud of is often difficult.

Take a minute to think about what would make you feel proud? Notice that it’s not the actual act of doing the thing that makes you feel proud – just thinking about it can bring you the feeling. Feeling proud of your ability to manage diabetes doesn’t mean you have perfect blood sugars every day. It means you do the best you can. You can be proud of yourself regardless of what your child’s A1C is?

Feeling proud is a gift you can give yourself. It doesn’t have to be based on anyone else or anything else.

We often thing that we have to do something first to feel proud of ourselves. I’ve learned the opposite is true. When we feel proud of ourselves, we often move forward to taking the action that will bring us more of the feeling of proud. I’m proud of the bond I have with my T1D. It doesn’t depend on what he thinks or feels. It depends on what I make it mean. The result I want from diabetes is a bond like no other because of diabetes.

Google says the definitely of pride is, “a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction as the result of one’s achievements.”

I think those achievements can be in the past, present, or future, and I don’t think they have to be huge. We simply have to choose to think about our lives in a way that brings up those feelings. We get to believe that because of diabetes we are stronger and better at being a mom than if diabetes never entered our world.

We don’t ever have to wait for someone to be proud of us. It’s our job.

Want help exploring thoughts that make you proud? Want to be proud of yourself more often? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and HAPPINESS

DIABETES and HAPPINESS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you spend days wishing you could just be happy?

Guess what? There is no happiness that we are going to find in our future. That is…that we don’t already have access to right now. Happiness comes from a thought. A thought about something that makes you happy.

So if happiness comes from a thought, which is just a sentence in our brain, then what is stopping us from creating happiness right now. Our thoughts!  Correct!

What is it that stops us from creating happiness? For me it’s that I don’t want to be happy all the time. I want to be sad when something terrible happens. I want to be sad or disappointed when I don’t get the results I’ve been working towards.

However, I understand that I don’t want happiness at those points. I choose to be sad. I like to live my life with intention so choosing my emotion is the best way I know how. Also that means I get to choose happiness with intention, as well. Remember true happiness can only come from a thought that’s believable. If you just tell yourself a thought that you’d like to believe, it can’t create true happiness. It’s a process.

However, if you are working on thoughts you’d like to believe, try a few out, and work through a process of changing your brain so that thought becomes believable. First become aware of what thoughts are creating which results. Second understand that those thoughts are optional and slowly change your thought process to incorporate the new thought. Third your brain becomes rewired to believe that new thought.

The process doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and dedication. It takes being uncomfortable, but it is so worth the effort. Knowing that you can choose how you think about a situation is truly powerful. Knowing that it’s up to you to decide, is the best news ever.

You get to decide how you want diabetes to impact your life. You get to choose which thoughts serve you and which don’t.

Want help exploring the thoughts you have about diabetes? Want to choose happiness more often intentionally? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and CIRCUMSTANCES

DIABETES and CIRCUMSTANCES

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you believe that diabetes is just a circumstance?

The whole mindset around diabetes and taking control over your life and the impact diabetes has on it stems from diabetes being a circumstance. A circumstance to me is something that’s a fact. Just a fact. It is totally neutral. When I try and determine if something is a circumstance I ask myself if it can be proven and if 99.9% of the world would agree with that statement.

So…can it be proven that my child has diabetes? Yes. Would 99.9% of the world agree that my child has diabetes? Yes. That makes diabetes a circumstance.

That’s the best news ever. That means that diabetes is neutral. It means it is not negative or positive until I have a thought about it. About now you are arguing with me saying that it’s negative. Let’s ask the same questions of diabetes but in that diabetes is negative.

So…can it be proven that my child’s diabetes is negative? I can surely find scientific evidence that it is but is there be evidence that it’s positive? I actually know people who have found evidence that diabetes is positive. Their child is more responsible because of diabetes. Their child is more compassionate because of diabetes. Their child eats healthier because of diabetes. They have a stronger bond because of diabetes.

Thus diabetes being negative is not a circumstance. It’s not a fact. Best News EVER! That means we both get to decide what We want to believe about diabetes. We can intentionally decide. We have a choice. Doesn’t sound possible? It is.

I actually had a client who was thankful for diabetes. Their child was thought to have cancer and it ended up to be diabetes. They were thankful. Diabetes is neutral until you have a thought about it.

You get to decide how to think about diabetes. Take some time to examine your thoughts. Think about what’s believable to you. As I tell my clients, you can’t go from being angry and hating diabetes one day to loving it and feeling blessed to have diabetes in your life the next. It’s a process. It takes time and it only works if you are willing to embrace the change. Embrace the discomfort that will get you there. If you are willing to process the negative emotion you have about diabetes first.

It doesn’t mean that you are going to jump for joy that your child has diabetes. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that you get to figure out the results you want for your life and how you think about diabetes. My belief is that if you look for the bad you’ll find it, but also true is if you look for the good, you will find it, too.  Look for the silver lining this week. It’s there.

Want help exploring what diabetes means to you and your family? Want to explore new thoughts and what those results would be in your life if you thought them? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?