DIABETES and SELF RESPONSIBILITY

DIABETES and SELF RESPONSIBILITY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you blame diabetes or someone else for causing you to feel a certain way?

Any time we think something (diabetes) or someone else is causing us to feel a certain way, we are not taking responsibility for our feelings. We are delegating that responsibility to something or someone else.

Self-responsibility means accepting that you’re the one creating your feelings. You will need to choose to take responsibility for yourself again and again. Over and over again.

On default mode it is easiest to blame something or someone else. It’s living our life without intention. It’s giving all of our power, our destiny, our agency over to whatever we are blaming.

I used to blame diabetes, but the day I realized it wasn’t serving me or my son I began working on taking self-responsibility. Owning that it’s my thoughts that create the feelings about diabetes.

Feeling angry at diabetes doesn’t help anyone. It actually does that opposite. It leaves me powerless.

However, once I took self-responsibility, I had a tendency to blame myself. Since I wasn’t blaming diabetes I began blaming myself. That wasn’t useful or surely didn’t serve me.

I began to just take responsibility for all of my thoughts about diabetes. I just became aware of what my thoughts were and didn’t blame myself for them. Then I told myself that nothing had gone wrong in my life when diabetes arrived. I’m human living a human life and there are supposed to be challenges.

I realized that I had the power to decide how I respond to those challenges. All of my feelings are caused by a thought which is just a sentence in my brain. I slowly changed that sentence in my brain (my thoughts) about diabetes.

It was a slow process but the best work I’ve ever done for myself and my family. I practiced taking self-responsibility. My brain (and yours) is the most powerful tool on the planet. By taking responsibility for everything your brain does, you fully reclaim your power and your ability to use it as a tool.

That is the best news ever!

Would you like help taking full responsibility for your life and to stop blaming diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and PREFRONTAL POWER

DIABETES and PREFRONTAL POWER

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Are you using your prefrontal power to manage your diabetes or letting your automatic cerebellum decide for you in the moment?

We have two parts to our brain. Our prefrontal cortex, which is where we make conscious decisions and we have our cerebellum, which is our automatic consciousness and is efficient and already programmed.

Our prefrontal cortex is the most evolved part of our brains and it’s where our executive function occurs. It can decide ahead of time, create goals, envision dreams and devise plans.  It does things with intention. However it does use a lot of energy and effort.

Our cerebellum comes up with reactions, solutions, and actions very quickly without much energy involved. The brain likes to be efficient and it likes to expend as little energy as possible. It defaults to the pre-programmed brain whenever possible.

Because our brains like to be efficient, it likes to be familiar and comfortable. We have developed an attachment to the familiar in order to survive. The brain is not motivated to go in and re-evaluate things that it does efficiently. You have to direct your prefrontal to do that evaluation on purpose because it takes more effort and energy.

Many of us have neural pathways of desire that are in our brains, and we think those neural pathways are just part of our personalities. The fact is, we’ve learned to like something or not like something. Think about that automatic pathways that you have created in your brain that aren’t serving you. False desire is a neural pathway that produces a feeling of desire, but it’s not something you want, like the desire to overeat or overdrink.

Neural pathways are formed by paying attention to something and then repeating it over and over. You also can have a thought error in a neural pathway. It’s a thought that’s running in your brain that you haven’t looked at to decide whether or not it’s serving you.

Parts of our lives that we don’t care for and want to change, need effort and energy to change them. We need to activate our prefrontal power to change the old neural pathways. Slow, deliberate effort, consistently repeated is what changes the old habits in your life. It requires attention and repetition. It takes practice and effort.

If you want a different A1C result or if you want to stop allowing diabetes to dictate aspects of your life you have to use your prefrontal power to do that. You have to become aware of what your default setting is and then consciously go about changing it. Using small, simple, steps is the best way to change a habit.

Break it down to the smallest, simplest step and then slowly move forward with that step. Using your prefrontal power is what is necessary to move towards goals in the future. Your prefrontal planning power mode helps you make your dreams reality.

Use your highest executive prefrontal power to design your life instead of letting your automatic cerebellum decide for you in the moment.

Decide ahead of time how you want diabetes to impact your life. You can do that from a place of power and strength by using your prefrontal cortex or from a power of default using your cerebellum.

Would you like to learn how to engage your prefrontal power to improve the effect diabetes has on your life? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and ENERGY PRODUCING vs ENERGY DEPLETING

DIABETES and ENERGY PRODUCING vs ENERGY DEPLETING

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes.

Today’s Question: Do you create more energy producing or energy depleting emotions?

There are so many types of emotions. I used to live my life on default mode. Allowing my emotions to be in charge of me. I, honestly, didn’t know I could be in charge of them and create the emotions I wanted with intention.

How do your emotions work? Especially raising a child with diabetes? Do you allow blood sugar numbers to create emotions in your life every day, every hour? Remember that all of our feelings come from our minds. We think thoughts that create feelings. When we discover this, we realize that we can change how we are feeling.

Most of my clients start creating feelings they thought they want to feel. They want to feel good all the time so they believe that thinking happy thoughts will give them a happy emotion all the time.

Unfortunately, it usually doesn’t work that way since the thoughts have to be believable. You can’t go from hating diabetes to believing diabetes is the best thing for your family.  The best way to create thoughts and feelings are to generate them ahead of the result you’d like.

Sounds complicated, right? Well it’s just a new thought process. Also the number one indicator of the result you will create is how committed you are to feeling that emotion ahead of time. If you want to know what your results will be, check with your emotions. If your emotions are energy-producing, you will create that result in your life. If your emotion is energy-depleting, you will not create that result in your life.

The best predictor of your results is how you feel right now. Check in with yourself. How do you feel right now about creating that result in your life? If you can decide what emotion will get you to the result you want in your life and then take action from that feeling you will create the result.

Your thoughts (which you are totally in charge of) create your results by generating or depleting the energy that you need to create those results.

Here are some of the energy-producing emotions that fuel creation: motivated, disciplined, excited, inspired, fascinated, intrigued, curious, engrossed, amazed, attentive, focused, courageous, energetic, optimistic, thrilled, exhilarated, communicative, active, vigorous, earned, cooperative, reliable, stable, and composed.

In contrast, here are some of the energy-depleting emotions many of us indulge in. Confusion, self-pity, disheartened, despondent, cheerless, stumped, depressed, and doubtful are emotions that are going to deplete your energy.

Generating emotion is a new way of thinking, but it is a skill that is 100% available to us.

Once you are aware of those energy-depleting emotions, you understand that the reason you’re disheartened or doubtful is not because of your results. It’s because of what you are thinking so then you can change your thinking. You can change your pattern of thought to think in a way that generates the energy you need to create the result you want.

Want to learn how to generate energy-producing emotions? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and ACCOMPLISHING GOALS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes and YAY it’s my 100th blog post!

Today’s Question: Do you think that having a child with diabetes costs you your dreams?

I used to think that. However, I learned that what was costing me my dreams was confusion, doubt, and fear. It wasn’t diabetes. I realized that discomfort IS the currency to completing my dreams. It’s about being uncomfortable on purpose.

Confusion, doubt and fear all lead to inaction instead of fueling massive action. It’s massive action that leads you to your dreams. I understand that you are already taking action to manage diabetes but allowing diabetes to control all of your dreams is a choice. How I managed this was to pick one 30 day goal. Just one! Pick something you will DO and something you will CREATE.

The next thing to do is to write this down and will in the blanks with your particulars:

By (insert date and time), I will have completed and created (insert goal here). I will know I’m done because of (measurable stat).

Mine was: By (June 5th at 10 pm), I will have completed and created a book chapter. I will know I’m done because I get a finished chapter back from the editor.

Then answer these questions: Why do I want to achieve this goal? Why will I do it no matter what? Who will I be accountable to?

Now think about what the feelings are that you will need to feel instead of confusion, doubt and fear. You will need to replace them with feelings like: committed, excited, empowered, disciplined and willing. What is the thought you need that will drive you to action?

No brainstorm! Write down everything you need to do to accomplish this goal? Make a list on a blank piece of paper. The list does not have to be in order. Just write everything down you can think of. The more you can anticipate, the better.

Take that list and put it in order and then next to each one put ay obstacles you can anticipate stopping you from achieving that particular action. There will be obstacles and if you can turn each into a strategy you will accomplish your goal.

Create a final list of obstacles that will keep you from achieving your goal and the strategies you are going to use to overcome them. Turn each of the strategies into a skill you need to develop. Add it all to your list of to dos.

NOW…add it all to your calendar. Schedule it! You will not want to, but this will make everything so much easier. Take every single item and add it to your calendar. Be sure to schedule time for learning and for thinking. It all needs to be scheduled.

Remember that your future self will need to follow through on all of it, so be kind and thoughtful when scheduling.  1. Put the list in order. 2. Determine how much time everything will take. 3. Add it to the calendar on each day with time frames.

Believe. Commit. Achieve.

I can help you make your biggest dream come true! Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and BELIEFS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Are there any restrictions on what we are allowed to believe?

What is a belief anyhow? A belief is just a thought you keep on thinking. What happens when you have a thought you keep on thinking? What happens when you’ve thought a thought so many times, you don’t even recognize that it’s a thought anymore?

You think it’s just real, you think it’s true.  You don’t recognize it’s a belief system, and belief systems are 100% optional.

We can believe anything we want. There is no restriction to what we are allowed to believe. We can believe that we are the best moms of a Type 1 diabetic ever. No one can tell us what we can or cannot think. There are so many things that people can do to us, but they can’t tell us what we’ll make it mean. They can’t tell us how it will feel emotionally.

You get to think whatever you want to think about anything that happens or has happened to you in your life. You also get to think whatever you want about the future. You get to decide what you believe about diabetes. Just be sure it serves you.

You can love whoever you want, no matter what. You don’t have to justify it. You can life what you want and believe what you want about yourself.

You can think you’re fantastic no matter what anyone else says. Remember, a believe is a thought you just keep on thinking. It’s something you have thought so often, you don’t even realize you’re thinking it. It’s a really deep neural pathway in your brain.

You can CHOOSE to believe something different. You can choose to create a new belief in your life. You can choose to questions any belief that isn’t serving you.

If you could believe anything you want about yourself, what would you believe? It’s an amazing question. Decide what you want to believe about yourself.

If a belief is a thought you keep on thinking, then creating new beliefs is simply picking a new thought and thinking on purpose enough until you truly believe it.

You don’t have to ask anyone’s permission.

You don’t have to ask your mom, your spouse, or your best friend.

They can all disagree with you and you can believe ANYTHING you want.

Best news ever!

If you could believe anything you wanted about yourself, what would it be? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES, DREAMS and DESIRES

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: What do you want? Do you even know?

Why do desires and dreams even matter? If we are all wanting from a place of lack and scarcity, it can feel bad, and many of you would rather not want at all than be disappointed. Why even set a goal of a certain A1C when it might be a struggle to get there?

Think about this – you don’t have to justify your wants. You’re just allowed to want something because you do. How fun is that?

Imagine just wanting a lower A1C and then working to get there without any struggle. Let the struggle go. Just try your best. Let the self-judgement go.

So many of us try and over-explain our wants in life. It’s just not necessary. Want what you want and then go out and try and get it. If you get it…awesome. If you don’t…don’t use it as an opportunity to beat yourself up.

Don’t use diabetes as a way to be a victim, either. Don’t use diabetes as an excuse. Show up. Explore your deeper desires and dreams. What are they? Do you even know? So often, we bury our desires beneath a heavy layer of doubt.

Here’s the thing with that – you’re never going to regret believing in yourself. You will regret doubting yourself. Going all in is never regrettable.

You’re not always going to be successful. You know that diabetes is challenging and you can only do the best you can. You know you may have to try a few times and commit, but it will be worth it.

Desires nag at us; they never really go away. If we listen to them, they will lead us to a life where we feel most alive. When we don’t pay attention to our desires, we end up doing things to distract ourselves from them.

When you think about your desires, you can generate the emotions necessary to act on them. If you’re just living a life where you’re not looking at dreams and not looking at your desires, you stagnate in a mediocre life.

The more you honor and pay attention to your dreams, the more doubt you’re going to have. That’s where clearing the mind clutter can help. Do a thought download and put down all of your thoughts on a piece of paper. Just spend 10 minutes and then put back in the thoughts you like.

You choose which thoughts you like and want to keep. Keep the ones that inspire you towards your dreams and desires.

Let me help you explore your dreams and desires. I can help you figure out how to achieve them once you know what they are. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and APATHY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Have you found yourself apathetic, lately?

I know I have been. I start with these great hopes, ideas, and goals. Then I get really excited. Before you know it, I’m thinking that there’s so many other things in my life that I need to do (diabetes related) instead and I slip into apathy and don’t commit to completing my goal.

Especially, during this pandemic. It seems I can come up with excuses to not complete goals pretty easy. It’s easy to be apathetic.

Apathy is one of the biggest dream stealers. It’s always easy since we can never be really apathetic about diabetes so the rest of our lives we give ourselves permission to take the easy route. It’s easy to be indifferent about living the potential of our lives, our dreams, and our biggest desires. They seem difficult and hard.

It’s easy to think that being apathetic somehow keeps us safe. Why stretch ourselves out there to complete a big goal, when raising a child with diabetes, is a big enough goal. Our brain tells us to just stay in default mode and not risk doing something else hard.

What I try and think about is my potential. I think about the possibilities for my life. How much energy, thought and creation do I want to devote to this one life? If my answer is zero, or very little, I’m being apathetic. I’m stuck in apathy about my potential and my possibility.

I realize that when I feel apathetic I don’t want to take action. I don’t want to create anything in the world. I don’t want to move forward. Giving in to apathy feels like a relief, initially, because it doesn’t require me to do anything.

However, the cost is high in the end. When I give in to apathy, I don’t exercise self-responsibility, which is the most empowering thing I can do. Self-care, self-discipline, structure, organization, and love – these are all the things that make us stronger and help us to realize our own potential.

When you’re unhappy and you turn to apathy as a way of dealing with it, this can lead to depression. Instead of embracing unhappiness as a part of the human experience and feeling awful, we avoid it and slip into apathy. Then we miss the opportunity to live a life where we are connected and alive.

We often have apathy for things we believe we cannot change, but the truth is, we can change our lives when we take responsibility. We can always change how we are experiencing something by how we think about it.

It’s your opportunity to live your life however you would like. You can live in default and you can be apathetic about the possibilities, or you can be willing to feel concern and care about what really matters to you. Don’t accept apathy as an option.

What is the potential in your life that you are missing out on? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and CHALLENGING RELATIONSHIPS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: What makes a relationship challenging?

A challenging person…wouldn’t you agree? Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s your thoughts about the relationship that makes it challenging.

When we think of the difficult relationships we have in our lives, nine times out of ten, we are automatically going to blame the difficulty on the other person. It doesn’t really matter if we are talking about our spouse, a friend, or a child with diabetes. Challenging relationships are caused by our thoughts about that relationship.

How can that be? Especially when you could give me a list of evidence as to why that person is challenging. Whatever that person did or didn’t do is what is considered a circumstance. A circumstance is something outside of your control.  Other people are outside of your control.  As much as we think we can control others – we all have agency (free will).

So if other people’s actions are outside of your control. The only thing you can control are your thoughts about what they did or didn’t. And what they did or didn’t do is totally neutral. Remember, all circumstances are neutral until we have a thought about them.

Your thoughts about a relationship is what makes the relationship challenging. Plain and simple. I always coach clients to just be sure that they are making sure the thoughts they are CHOOSING to think, are serving them.

Yes, you choose thoughts about all relationships. You have the power to choose which relationships are challenging and which ones are not. The best thing is that your thoughts can change. You have the power to alter thoughts about relationships. You just want to be sure that you believe the thought you are choosing.

Also, awareness is always the best place to start when you want to change a challenging relationship. Be aware of what you are thinking about the relationship now. Take a few minutes to write down a thought download of all of your thoughts about a particular relationship. Then contemplate how you want those thoughts to change.

It’s often helpful to think about the result you want ahead of time. How do you want the relationship to be after you change your thoughts about it? It sounds crazy but it works. Decide what kind of relationship you want and then alter your thoughts to coincide with that result.

If you want that relationship to continue to be challenging then continue to think challenging thoughts. If you want that relationship to change and be loving, understanding, tolerable, etc. then slowly change your thoughts to alight with what you want.

You’re in charge of how you think about every relationship in your life, even the challenging ones.

Would you like me to help you improve your relationship with your child who has diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and STUDYING YOURSELF

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Have you ever committed to studying yourself?

What does it even mean to study yourself? I never thought of studying myself. I was so good at blaming and being a victim of diabetes but not good at applying and practicing thoughts on purpose.

I was going through life unwilling to study myself, and unwilling to show up in a way that uncovers my default mental programming, which hated diabetes. I was living based on thoughts that had be programmed inadvertently, and therefore, I was feeling a bit out of control. I wasn’t controlling my life – my life was controlling me.

What I did was to become aware of what I was thinking, evaluate it, and make sure I was thinking on purpose. Everything related to diabetes was on auto pilot. I hated it all. Diabetes chaos was what changed my life and I honestly wanted our lives to go back to our pre-diabetes life.

However, that’s not going to happen. So phase one of studying yourself and taking charge of your life is to understand the general concept that thoughts create feelings. Phase two is really getting some insight into your own specific thoughts, and how they’re causing your specific feelings. Then the next phase is really deciding to think about circumstances differently. The only thing that makes a circumstance negative or positive is how you think about it. Diabetes isn’t negative or positive until you have a thought about it.

The next phase is understanding that all emotions are harmless. You can experience any emotion, and you are the sole cause of your own emotion and other people are the sole cause of their emotions.

The last phase is really deciding what you want your results to be and manifesting them. If you think about any result you want in your life, you can figure out a way to get that using believable thoughts.

The last phase is to be able to pick and choose exactly what you want in your life and know ahead of time that you WILL accomplish it. This creates a sense of confidence, happiness, and joy that will underline everything you will do. Even when you are challenged, and even when you are uncomfortable, you will have that underlying peace and confidence that there’s nothing in the world that you can’t do.

The more you study yourself, the more you practice what you want in your life, the more you visualize, put yourself out there, and are willing to make mistakes, the more you can conquer the negative thoughts surrounding diabetes.

If you’re committed to managing your mind, committed to managing your emotional life, committed to managing your actions, there is literally nothing you can’t create in your life.

Would you like help managing your thoughts about diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES & FEELING BETTER

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Do you believe that you’d “feel better” if social distancing would end?

It’s natural to feel that way. It seems we all want to believe that ending social distancing would equate to happiness. However it’s so not true.

The only reason any of us ever want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in attaining and having it. How we feel is NEVER the result of a circumstance. It’s always tied to a thought.

The circumstance is neutral. Social distancing is totally neutral until we have a thought about it. So how do we start to feel better? We first have to identify how we actually want to feel.

Ask yourself: “What will be different when social distancing ends, and what will be the same?” The answer will point you toward something you are hoping to feel. For me, it’s the feeling of freedom. The feeling of not being contained. What’s the feeling you are wanting?

Next, ask yourself: “What would give me that feeling, and am I focused on something externally that I need to achieve, or am I believing that I can create whatever emotion it is that I want to feel right now?”

Often, we think, “When I have, do, or accomplish (fill in the blank”, THEN I will feel better.”

The truth is, we never have to wait to have something in order to feel better. We can feel better right now if we choose to.

Feelings are created by us and are for us. If we want to feel excited, we can think about things that excite us on purpose, and we will feel excited more often. If we want to feel happiness, we can think about things that make us feel happy, and we will experience happiness more often.

Here’s the thing – the key to feeling better is all in our minds.

The only thing we need to feel better is to know what we are feeling now, know how we want to feel and then generate thoughts (that we can believe) to help us feel that way. The thoughts have to be believable.

How do you want to feel today?

It’s worth giving it some thought.

Would you like help learning how to feel better? Would you like to learn how to feel better without having any circumstance in your life change? Would you like to feel better about having a child who has diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?