DIABETES and APATHY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Have you found yourself apathetic, lately?

I know I have been. I start with these great hopes, ideas, and goals. Then I get really excited. Before you know it, I’m thinking that there’s so many other things in my life that I need to do (diabetes related) instead and I slip into apathy and don’t commit to completing my goal.

Especially, during this pandemic. It seems I can come up with excuses to not complete goals pretty easy. It’s easy to be apathetic.

Apathy is one of the biggest dream stealers. It’s always easy since we can never be really apathetic about diabetes so the rest of our lives we give ourselves permission to take the easy route. It’s easy to be indifferent about living the potential of our lives, our dreams, and our biggest desires. They seem difficult and hard.

It’s easy to think that being apathetic somehow keeps us safe. Why stretch ourselves out there to complete a big goal, when raising a child with diabetes, is a big enough goal. Our brain tells us to just stay in default mode and not risk doing something else hard.

What I try and think about is my potential. I think about the possibilities for my life. How much energy, thought and creation do I want to devote to this one life? If my answer is zero, or very little, I’m being apathetic. I’m stuck in apathy about my potential and my possibility.

I realize that when I feel apathetic I don’t want to take action. I don’t want to create anything in the world. I don’t want to move forward. Giving in to apathy feels like a relief, initially, because it doesn’t require me to do anything.

However, the cost is high in the end. When I give in to apathy, I don’t exercise self-responsibility, which is the most empowering thing I can do. Self-care, self-discipline, structure, organization, and love – these are all the things that make us stronger and help us to realize our own potential.

When you’re unhappy and you turn to apathy as a way of dealing with it, this can lead to depression. Instead of embracing unhappiness as a part of the human experience and feeling awful, we avoid it and slip into apathy. Then we miss the opportunity to live a life where we are connected and alive.

We often have apathy for things we believe we cannot change, but the truth is, we can change our lives when we take responsibility. We can always change how we are experiencing something by how we think about it.

It’s your opportunity to live your life however you would like. You can live in default and you can be apathetic about the possibilities, or you can be willing to feel concern and care about what really matters to you. Don’t accept apathy as an option.

What is the potential in your life that you are missing out on? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and CHALLENGING RELATIONSHIPS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: What makes a relationship challenging?

A challenging person…wouldn’t you agree? Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s your thoughts about the relationship that makes it challenging.

When we think of the difficult relationships we have in our lives, nine times out of ten, we are automatically going to blame the difficulty on the other person. It doesn’t really matter if we are talking about our spouse, a friend, or a child with diabetes. Challenging relationships are caused by our thoughts about that relationship.

How can that be? Especially when you could give me a list of evidence as to why that person is challenging. Whatever that person did or didn’t do is what is considered a circumstance. A circumstance is something outside of your control.  Other people are outside of your control.  As much as we think we can control others – we all have agency (free will).

So if other people’s actions are outside of your control. The only thing you can control are your thoughts about what they did or didn’t. And what they did or didn’t do is totally neutral. Remember, all circumstances are neutral until we have a thought about them.

Your thoughts about a relationship is what makes the relationship challenging. Plain and simple. I always coach clients to just be sure that they are making sure the thoughts they are CHOOSING to think, are serving them.

Yes, you choose thoughts about all relationships. You have the power to choose which relationships are challenging and which ones are not. The best thing is that your thoughts can change. You have the power to alter thoughts about relationships. You just want to be sure that you believe the thought you are choosing.

Also, awareness is always the best place to start when you want to change a challenging relationship. Be aware of what you are thinking about the relationship now. Take a few minutes to write down a thought download of all of your thoughts about a particular relationship. Then contemplate how you want those thoughts to change.

It’s often helpful to think about the result you want ahead of time. How do you want the relationship to be after you change your thoughts about it? It sounds crazy but it works. Decide what kind of relationship you want and then alter your thoughts to coincide with that result.

If you want that relationship to continue to be challenging then continue to think challenging thoughts. If you want that relationship to change and be loving, understanding, tolerable, etc. then slowly change your thoughts to alight with what you want.

You’re in charge of how you think about every relationship in your life, even the challenging ones.

Would you like me to help you improve your relationship with your child who has diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and STUDYING YOURSELF

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Have you ever committed to studying yourself?

What does it even mean to study yourself? I never thought of studying myself. I was so good at blaming and being a victim of diabetes but not good at applying and practicing thoughts on purpose.

I was going through life unwilling to study myself, and unwilling to show up in a way that uncovers my default mental programming, which hated diabetes. I was living based on thoughts that had be programmed inadvertently, and therefore, I was feeling a bit out of control. I wasn’t controlling my life – my life was controlling me.

What I did was to become aware of what I was thinking, evaluate it, and make sure I was thinking on purpose. Everything related to diabetes was on auto pilot. I hated it all. Diabetes chaos was what changed my life and I honestly wanted our lives to go back to our pre-diabetes life.

However, that’s not going to happen. So phase one of studying yourself and taking charge of your life is to understand the general concept that thoughts create feelings. Phase two is really getting some insight into your own specific thoughts, and how they’re causing your specific feelings. Then the next phase is really deciding to think about circumstances differently. The only thing that makes a circumstance negative or positive is how you think about it. Diabetes isn’t negative or positive until you have a thought about it.

The next phase is understanding that all emotions are harmless. You can experience any emotion, and you are the sole cause of your own emotion and other people are the sole cause of their emotions.

The last phase is really deciding what you want your results to be and manifesting them. If you think about any result you want in your life, you can figure out a way to get that using believable thoughts.

The last phase is to be able to pick and choose exactly what you want in your life and know ahead of time that you WILL accomplish it. This creates a sense of confidence, happiness, and joy that will underline everything you will do. Even when you are challenged, and even when you are uncomfortable, you will have that underlying peace and confidence that there’s nothing in the world that you can’t do.

The more you study yourself, the more you practice what you want in your life, the more you visualize, put yourself out there, and are willing to make mistakes, the more you can conquer the negative thoughts surrounding diabetes.

If you’re committed to managing your mind, committed to managing your emotional life, committed to managing your actions, there is literally nothing you can’t create in your life.

Would you like help managing your thoughts about diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES & FEELING BETTER

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Do you believe that you’d “feel better” if social distancing would end?

It’s natural to feel that way. It seems we all want to believe that ending social distancing would equate to happiness. However it’s so not true.

The only reason any of us ever want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in attaining and having it. How we feel is NEVER the result of a circumstance. It’s always tied to a thought.

The circumstance is neutral. Social distancing is totally neutral until we have a thought about it. So how do we start to feel better? We first have to identify how we actually want to feel.

Ask yourself: “What will be different when social distancing ends, and what will be the same?” The answer will point you toward something you are hoping to feel. For me, it’s the feeling of freedom. The feeling of not being contained. What’s the feeling you are wanting?

Next, ask yourself: “What would give me that feeling, and am I focused on something externally that I need to achieve, or am I believing that I can create whatever emotion it is that I want to feel right now?”

Often, we think, “When I have, do, or accomplish (fill in the blank”, THEN I will feel better.”

The truth is, we never have to wait to have something in order to feel better. We can feel better right now if we choose to.

Feelings are created by us and are for us. If we want to feel excited, we can think about things that excite us on purpose, and we will feel excited more often. If we want to feel happiness, we can think about things that make us feel happy, and we will experience happiness more often.

Here’s the thing – the key to feeling better is all in our minds.

The only thing we need to feel better is to know what we are feeling now, know how we want to feel and then generate thoughts (that we can believe) to help us feel that way. The thoughts have to be believable.

How do you want to feel today?

It’s worth giving it some thought.

Would you like help learning how to feel better? Would you like to learn how to feel better without having any circumstance in your life change? Would you like to feel better about having a child who has diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and CREATING PASSION

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  How is passion actually created?

Passion is an emotion and any emotion you want to experience has to be created by you. Not by something outside of yourself. It can’t be found? You don’t have to find something outside of yourself to give it to you.

It’s not your spouse’s job to make you happy. It’s not your career’s job to make you happy. It’s not your kids job to make you happy. It’s your job.

Passion comes from your mind. It comes from your thinking. When you think passionate thoughts, you feel passion. Plain and simple. It’s just not easy, at least not at first.

Effortless passion comes from automatic, habitual thinking that we have programmed and learned in our brains. Consistently thinking and consistently believing a certain thought creates a neural pathway. When we’ve thought it enough, we delegate it to our lower brain. Then the lower brain will just take over and think it for us. It doesn’t need as much energy to feel that emotion.

If you want to have effortless passion, you need to get back to that space where you practice consciously creating passionate thoughts. Practice it until it is effortless. The steps for doing that are: create it, practice it, and repeat it. If you repeat it enough times, it will become an effortless neural pathway in your brain.

The first step to creating passion is to do a thought download on all the thoughts preventing you from feeling passion now. Doing this in a way where you’re not judging or editing yourself powerfully shows you all your negative patterns.

The next step is to create thoughts that generate passion without needing to change your present circumstances. Remember a time when you felt passion. What were you thinking? What did it feel like in your body? What were you experiencing? When you start thinking all the thoughts that generate passion, and you start practicing those thoughts, you start creating passion.

Programming your brain and learning something new is awkward. It’s like learning a new language. It can be frustrating and tedious, but if you want to live a life of passion, you have to study it. Instead of seeking something outside of yourself to give passion to you, you can learn to generate it from within.

Would you like help creating passion in your life, especially while raising a child with diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and COVID-19

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Do you find “worry” to be helpful or useful?

Does worry generate a feeling of confidence or positivity? It doesn’t for me. It does feel like it’s necessary these days. With so much unknown why shouldn’t I feel worry? I understand the answer but sometimes worry anyhow. Worry does nothing for me. It doesn’t allow me to focus on finding a solution.

How does worry feel to you? It may feel necessary. It may feel that you don’t have an option. It’s just part of the Covid19 world we live in. So much is unknown right now so worry is just part of it.

The answer is that worry is optional. Worry is living on default mode. It’s important to understand that you have a choice as to how you show up every day. Does pandemic mode include worry for you? Does it have to? No.

You may ask how worry can be optional. How do you gain control over it? Taking control means that you intentionally decide what gives you the best results in your life. Becoming aware of what you are worried about is the first step. It always begins with awareness. When you are worrying start to think about what you are worried about.

Spend a few minutes writing down everything you are worried about. When you are finished with the list ask yourself what else you are worried about? Once that list seems complete go back through it. Sometimes it helps for me to walk away from the list for a bit and then come back. It depends on what’s going on in my life.

When I come back to the list, what I do first is qualify each as a circumstance or thought. Remember circumstances are things that are out of our control. They are statements that everyone would agree with. For example, There is a pandemic in the U.S. is a circumstance, but the pandemic is making my life miserable it a thought. My child having diabetes is a circumstance. Diabetes is a struggle is a thought. Once I clarify them I look at all the circumstances (probably most of them are thoughts) and then ask myself how I want to think about that circumstance.

Do I want to feel in control of my thought about that circumstance? What result do I want from thinking about that circumstance? Also what is my natural thought about that circumstance? Usually our default thought involves thinking we are going to die and that we need to be in survival mode all the time.

The next thing I do is go through and look at all of the thoughts I wrote down. I ask myself if those thoughts are serving me? What are the results of those thoughts? Are those thoughts that I would choose? Then I decide with intention to let go of the worry and try to manage what I have control over.

It sounds simple but it’s not easy. Our brains are designed to go to survival mode all the time. They are designed to think we are going to die and that we can’t do anything about it. So figure out what it is that you are worrying about and then decide how else you might be able to think about it.

Would you like help managing the worry? Would you like to take control over your life and thoughts about things you worry about? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and NEGATIVE EMOTION

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Do you try and replace all negative emotion with positive emotion?

Do you try and resist and avoid negative emotion? What are your thoughts about experiencing negative emotion?

When we are able to experience negative feelings in our everyday lives, it is then that we can notice when we are actually feeling happy.  If you’re happy all the time do you even know that you’re happy?

I believe that happiness requires the presence of unhappiness. Without unhappiness, happiness cannot exist. They are two sides of the same coin.

Sometimes we forget this, and then we try and push unhappiness, disappointment, and fear away.  We think that something has gone terribly wrong because of their presence.

We prefer to only be present with our most happy, cheery, lovely selves. Social media is about presenting with our most happy, cheery, lovely selves.

Consider this: what if we were meant to feel negative emotion 50% of the time? What if that were true? How do you feel about that? For me, it normalizes my negative emotions. Rather than trying to shake them off, that thought allows me to open up to them, and fully experience them, and realize it’s part of my human experience.

Feeling negative emotion is doable. Resisting them is hard work.

Want help learning to manage negative emotion? Want to learn how to stop resisting and to own negative emotion? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and AMBITION

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Is ambition a positive or negative trait?

Does having a child with diabetes mean you have to be ambitious? How do you define ambition?  I define it as, “a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.

What’s your take? Is it a negative quality or a commendable quality? To me, it whether or not it’s negative or positive is dependent on what’s it’s fueled by. What’s the result you want from your ambition?

Ambition inspires some people, while it turns others off. Ambition fueled by compassion and understanding is very different than ambition fueled by greed and jealousy.  When someone’s drive to achieve something comes at the expense of other people, while for others, their ambition comes from a place of wanting to make a contribution to the world.

What is your ambition fueled by? Is your ambition fueled by abundance or is it fueled by lack. When it’s fueled by lack, no cost is too high to achieve the end result. This is where workaholism, deceit, exploitation, and greed give ambition a bad name.

Ambition fueled by abundance is what moves us forward. It’s the trait that finds answers to insulin issues, it’s the trait that discovers technological issues such as the loop, and it’s the trait that finds solutions to our biggest diabetic issues.

Finding comfort in what we know and what we have is a first step, not the end game. Ambition, our desire for more, is what will keep us growing and evolving.

Have you considered what our world would be like if nobody was ambitious? I’m so thankful for all of you who have been ambitious in the world and for what you have created that contributes to a better quality of life for my child who has diabetes.

I can help you with the results you want in your life and how to fuel them by ambition. I can help your future to be fueled by abundance. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and CONSTRAINT

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  How are you managing Social Distancing and the Coronavirus?

It’s been a crazy week. The impact that the Coronavirus has had on our lives has been beyond incredible.  I started last week out in overwhelm. It seemed necessary. The panic seemed necessary. However, this week I began managing my life with constraint. Constraint may seem counterintuitive when it seems there is a shortage of food and supply but constraint will reduce the overwhelm.

What is constraint, anyhow? To me, it’s a limitation or restriction I put on myself that simplifies my life. Sounds easy, right? It’s not. At least not for me. I have a tendency to want to multi-task and manage everything at once. I then feel overwhelmed. By constraining and deciding ahead of time how I will manage my time and my focus I reduce overwhelm.

The reason that constraint is so important is because it reduces overwhelm. It makes decisions so much easier for me. Constraint is basically a rule that I set up for myself that helps me decide ahead of time how I’m going to find solutions and manage issues. It helps me decide ahead of time so last minute decisions don’t come into play.

Instead of managing all of the ever-changing issues that have come up with social distancing I decided to focus on one at a time. I decided ahead of time that life was going to be different and instead of thinking about how awful it all was I knew that I was going to manage one concern at a time. I was going to solve one issue at a time. It was difficult to stay out of panic and overwhelm, but I did it (most of the time).

You can learn constraint, as well. When you constrain your attention to one thing, you can be laser focused and disciplined with your mind. I have discovered that when I’m focused on one thing, I have more disciplined thinking, and my productivity goes through the roof.

Initially you won’t like constraint because you will want to keep your options open. You will begin to worry that you are missing out on something when you are focusing on just one thing. But keeping your options open is a huge mistake because you will have too many options. Too many things for your mind to think about.

Honestly, when you constrain yourself and make decisions ahead of time, it frees up your mind. Constraining the types of food you are eating, constraining exercising and physical health, and constraining social media all will help with managing your mind set.

When you make your decision about food, exercising, social media, etc ahead of time it will be easier to honor your commitment to yourself. Constraint reveals your ability to make a decision and keep a commitment to yourself.

It also reveals how your relationship is with yourself, and how willing you are to honor the commitments to yourself. I know that the more I honor my commitment to myself, the higher my self-esteem, and the better I feel about myself.

This week was absolutely challenging. I began each day with worry after reading about the new restrictions and concerns about the covid19. However, constraint completely allowed me to maintain composure and enabled me to focus on very few things at a time.

Having constrained to honor what’s important to me has been so much better than a lot of options and overwhelm.

nunI can help you manage the worry and the overwhelm you are feeling about the coronavirus. I can help teach you how you can constrain your life. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?

DIABETES and WORRY

Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!

Today’s Question:  Are you feeling worried and anxious about the Coronavirus?

I hear you! I am too, or at least I was until I stopped and sat still for a moment. Initially, I went into panic mode. Calling a pharmacy in Canada asking if they had insulin and if I needed a script. The answer was no I didn’t need a script and each vial was $45.00 Canadian.  I was ready to make the 3 hour trek.

I paused. I thought. I halted the panic. I started to search for what my biggest concerns were and then how to manage those concerns. The answer didn’t come through worry. Worry wouldn’t find me solutions. I decided that there might be another option to secure extra insulin. I called my insurance company.  Yes they would approve an extra 90 day supply of insulin. I still have an option of driving. I then started to think of other possible long term issues and finding solutions to those.

Thinking and planning worked. Worry didn’t work….for me. I’m not sure what will work for you. What I am saying is that you have a choice as to how you want to think about what lies ahead.

What mindset do you want in the days and weeks ahead? Be curious as to why you are feeling the way you are. Ask yourself, “How would I choose to feel, if I had a choice?” You may choose to be worried. You may choose to read and educate yourself. You may choose to panic. You may choose to not care. It’s all available to you.

What thoughts are the ones that will serve you the best? What people in your life will support and empower you? What do you want your child to remember about this time?

I always tell my clients that if they were at a dinner party (not likely any time soon), but if they were and there was a silver platter being passed around with a whole bunch of emotions which one would you choose today? Which ones will help you find solutions? Which ones will help you find strength? Currently, I’m choosing strength, calm, compassion, and empathy.  I’m not sure about tomorrow but I do know tomorrow it will still be my choice.

If you look at Martin Seligman’s work on positive psychology it’s your mindset that determines the outlook. It’s your mindset that determines your reality. It’s not what’s happening outside of you that creates your reality. It’s your thoughts about what’s happening that does.

It’s possible to just start savoring your positive experiences and extracting the maximum positive emotions from them. Maximize your happiness with thoughts that you intentionally choose.

Let the worry go and work on finding solutions to what you are worrying about.

I can help you manage the worry and the overwhelm you are feeling about the coronavirus. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?