DIABETES and Post-Traumatic GROWTH!

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Can positive growth come from traumatic experiences?

Many clients have a hard time getting past their child’s diagnosis of diabetes. Traumatic stress is a very normal reaction to an extreme experience, but often it’s years later and they are still suffering from that stress. Are you someone who still feels the trauma of diagnosis?

Post-traumatic GROWTH is a positive change that comes from traumatic experiences. It includes dramatic breakthroughs and personal growth.

If you experienced post-traumatic stress, after your child was diagnosed with diabetes, it’s important to recognize that the length of that stress depends on how much you avoid negative emotions after the diagnosis. When you are newly adjusting to diabetes it’s not advisable to take on all the negative emotions, since avoidance can be an important survival mechanism.

However, long-term avoidance is a roadblock to managing your thoughts about the disease and can produce chronic stress.

Once you have become accustomed to managing the diabetes it’s important to experience the emotion of the diagnosis without avoidance – without being a victim, without hating the diagnosis, without blaming diabetes.

Post-traumatic growth, after diagnosis, offers you a possibility of a life that’s better than it was before. No matter what your past or present circumstances, there is always the possibility, the option, for growth.

Trauma can cause real suffering, but how can you use that suffering as the catalyst for growth? You can by transforming the meaning of the tragedy.

Ask yourself: Are you telling a story of diagnosis and defining yourself by that story where you are the victim? Or are you the hero of your story, after having a child diagnosed with diabetes?

The story you tell about diabetes will be the story that you live now. You have the power over how you tell that story, and how you tell that story matters. If you are a victim then you hand all of your power over to diabetes. You give up control over your destiny, over the results you want in your life.

You can decide to stop defining yourself based on you having a child with diabetes. You can create and contribute to the world in a bigger and better way because of diabetes.

Just think of the possibilities that are now available because of diabetes. Think about the optional thoughts you have to tell your life story with diabetes as part of it.

Think of the strength, the growth, the resilience….that you have because of diagnosis. The story you tell yourself about diabetes will be a story that your child picks up. Is your story one that you are proud of…one that you hope your child picks up?

It can be. You can begin today by changing your thoughts about diabetes.

Would you like help in changing your thoughts about the diagnosis of diabetes?  Want help in developing personal growth from the diagnosis? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session

DIABETES and Why Change is HARD!

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!

Today’s Question: Have you ever struggled with change?

Why don’t we embrace change? It’s because change is hard and we don’t want to be uncomfortable. It’s not just the diagnosis of diabetes that’s hard but it’s the thought of a lifetime of change that diabetes brings with it. It’s change of a mindset of wanting to not be angry about the diagnosis.

Being angry is easy. Thinking that diabetes is so awful, just so unfair, is easy. But thinking that diabetes has a purpose is hard. Change is hard but builds our resolve. Change makes you stronger.

You may ask….why should you do hard things? Why should you be uncomfortable when it’s so much “easier” to stay just where you are, thinking exactly what you are thinking now….because setting goals and seeing what you are capable of is empowering. However, I believe that starting change is always the hardest.

It’s always the beginning that’s most difficult – the beginning of embracing a CGM or Looping. It’s hard and it’s uncomfortable.

It’s actively pursuing a better version of yourself that is hard. The word “actively” puts you in change and also means there is work to be done. It’s optional work and that’s the issue. Most people don’t choose to do the work. They don’t choose to be uncomfortable, but for the ones who do there is something exciting about seeing what you are capable of…seeing what your limits are…or if you have limits at all?

So why is this so challenging? Why the struggle? Because you have a primitive brain (a powerhouse between our ears) that continues to tell you to stay safe, not do difficult things, to protect yourself, to not fail.

Your brain loves what’s familiar since that’s what comfortable. It loves instant gratification and there is so much available all day every day. What I’d like to suggest is that you invest in change even though it’s hard. Invest in your potential.

How about going from thinking something is impossible, to thinking about the possibility of it and then knowing it’s inevitable? Think right now that all of the possibilities of your life exist. If you haven’t ever examined the possibilities of your life then I’m asking you take time to do that. What is possible for your life?

What is possible with a child who has diabetes? Are there limitations? Are there benefits? Are there advantages? I want you to consider the options? Consider the options of thinking that any future can be created.

What will it take to create that future? It will take a new way of thinking. It will take creating a future with new thoughts. That primitive brain will want you to create a future based on your past. How can you create anything new from the past? You can’t.

Explore what is possible. You will have to give up the thoughts about diabetes being so difficult. The past thoughts that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to you and your family.

You will have to give up being a victim. Being a victim is easy. It’s easy to blame diabetes. If you want to take your life to a new level you have to challenge yourself. You have to be willing to transform your past thoughts about diabetes into new ones that serve you…new ones that are useful.

Would you like help finding out what you are truly capable of and discovering your potential even with a child who has diabetes? Would you like help discovering the possibilities of your life? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session

DIABETES and NEW RESULTS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question: Do you do the same thing every day expecting different results?

I definitely have days that I know what my goal is and for some reason I expect to reach that goal by doing the same thing I did the day before. I realized I’m never going to reach a new goal without doing something new, something I’ve never done before.

Do you have goals you dream about but continue to expect to reach by just dreaming about it? Do you expect to reach it without being uncomfortable?

If your goal is one that takes effort, one that’s worth working on, then you’ll need a new thought pattern to obtain it. You’ll need to examine your thoughts in order to achieve that new result. Remember that thoughts come from circumstances. The circumstance is that your child had diabetes.

Circumstances are always neutral. Your child having diabetes is neutral. It only becomes negative (or positive) when you have a thought about it. Guess what???  The thought you have about diabetes is optional. You get to choose that thought.

Crazy, right? Your thoughts are optional. Thoughts are just sentences in your brain. Change the sentence and you can change the results in your life. You can achieve that goal but just changing your thoughts about it.

What helped me was every night for one month I wrote down one reason I was grateful for diabetes. At first it was difficult, but it was a non-negotiable for one month, so I did it every night.

I started out with sentences like, “I’m grateful for diabetes, because it’s not cancer.” I moved to thoughts like, “I’m grateful for diabetes because I get to spend more time with my son.” Then I continued to, “ I’m grateful for diabetes because I learned how to do hard things and be proud of myself.”

Just try it. Start tonight. One sentence. You can do it.

After one week start to repeat the sentence in the morning to yourself. Start believing your thoughts. Your child will one day be grateful that you’ve set an example of how to embrace diabetes and make it a positive circumstance. Show them how to make diabetes something that are in control of…instead of believing that diabetes can control them. 

You can change your life by being grateful about anything, not just diabetes. Just try it. Start being grateful for your mother-in-law, your sister-in-law, your coworker, or whoever you find difficult to love.

Would you like help achieving new goals? Would you like help with being grateful for diabetes or being grateful for those who are difficult to love in your life? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session

DIABETES and FEAR

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question: Does FEAR prevent you from taking action?

In our lives, especially as moms who have children with diabetes, we live with fear in our everyday life. Mostly, fear of lows and seizures but lots of other fears, too – fear of sleepovers, drinking when they turn 21, college, judgement, long term complications, and the list goes on.

However, fear generally prevents us from taking action.  Fear keeps us exactly where we are. FEAR is the reason we need courage. Courage doesn’t exist without fear.

Fear is defined as, “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.”  If fear is just an unpleasant emotion caused by a belief, we can get over that.

Most goals in life worth doing are going to put you in a place of uncomfortable emotions. Your brain would prefer Netflix and chill instead of face an unpleasant emotion. But…in order to accomplish goals you’re generally going to have to experience an emotion that’s uncomfortable.

What if you weren’t afraid of fear? Remember, we use our courage to create our capability, and we use our capability to create our confidence. The more capability we create, the more confidence we have.

If you don’t take the first step of building courage, you won’t ever be able to overcome the fear that is a natural part of being a human being.

If you aren’t experiencing fear and you’re not having to use courage, you aren’t asking enough of yourself. Having a child with diabetes can cause you to live in fear every day or you can use it to build up your courage and capabilities.

You get to decide what that fear does in your life. You get to decide if that fear stops you from taking action or empowers you to move forward.

As I follow @project50in50 – two T1Ds who are “conquering new heights with Type 1 Diabetes” to summit all 50 high peaks in the US in 50 days I am inspired by their courage and their ability to face their fears. Young men like Michael Shelver and Patrick Mertes are amazing mentors to our T1Ds and allow our children to face their fears and overcome them.

Would you like help taking control of the fear or help building up your capabilities and confidence with diabetes? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session

DIABETES and losing SELF-JUDGEMENT

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question: Is Self-Judgement part of your diabetes routine?

I’ve observed many moms who have a child with diabetes include self-judgement in their daily routine!  My clients all seem to have the same understanding, that if their child’s blood sugar numbers aren’t in range, it is their fault. It’s like blaming themselves will magically make things better.

There is no way blaming yourself will ever make anything better. There is no way that self-judgement makes your diabetes care any better.  Why do we as moms feel that blaming ourselves is ever the right thing to do?

I’ve contemplated that question for a long time. I used to be self-critical and self-judgmental about my diabetes care. That is until I was searching for answers as to why and found Brooke Castillo and The Life Coach School.  This is when I learned that fueling better blood sugar numbers through blame and judgement just doesn’t work.

However, fueling blood sugar numbers from a place of understanding, curiosity, and compassion always allows for better results and personal growth. It also allows for us to show ourselves what we are capable of…

As a mom you are capable of great things. Diabetes is just a circumstance in your life. It’s something that you didn’t plan for and something that can cause you to be overwhelmed, full of anxiety and truly exhausted.

However, learning the tools I now have can allow you to find a balance in your life that includes you taking control over the effect diabetes has on you and your family. If you embrace the life you have now and stop fighting it and hating it, you’ll find more happiness.

The reality is…if you stop hating diabetes you will have a clearer mind to take control of diabetes. Also your child watches your actions and if your actions show them they should hate diabetes, they will think they should.  It’s truly understandable to dislike diabetes but there is another option that leads to a better life.

Do I have days that I still get upset that diabetes is in my life? YES and YES! However, on those days I choose to be upset. I know that I have a choice on how I feel about diabetes. Diabetes doesn’t dictate to me, I dictate to diabetes.

It’s been a privilege and honor to work with clients this past year. I love the community and the work I do has created results in so many lives. If you want to learn some of the tools I have to stop the self-judgement and blame over blood sugar numbers, join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session

EASE vs. EVOLVING with Diabetes

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: Do you ever want to choose a path of ease?

Choosing ease is a misconception when having a child with diabetes. Diabetes involves always balancing insulin and managing numbers. It may seem that you might have a choice but ease is never totally obtainable. Never totally comfortable.

Evolving on the other hand doesn’t feel comfortable either, any time change is required, it is rarely comfortable. It take courage to challenge some of your old beliefs to move forward. It takes courage to manage blood sugar levels of your child.

When you start to evolve there is something in you deep down that knows and can feel that it’s right. That the struggle is worth it. There’s a pull that gets your started, and then there’s a lot of work.

In order to evolve into the next best version of yourself, you’re going to have to struggle. I struggled, but it was worth it.

 If your main goal in life is to be comfortable and at ease all of the time, it is going to be very hard for you to evolve and create new results. Evolving and comfort, usually don’t go hand in hand.

Ask yourself if you are seeking ease, comfort, safety, and security or are you seeking to evolve? There’s no right or wrong answer. No judgement. Just know your intention for yourself.

If you are choosing to evolve and set a stretch goal, that’s the moment your brain kick in and give you every reason why it’s a bad idea.

Your brain will tell you all the reasons that you shouldn’t do it and bring up all the doubts and fears. Your reason why you want to evolve needs to be compelling enough to get through all of the doubts and fears your brain brings up.

When you expect to be uncomfortable and you expect to have fear the change is managed from a place of power instead of powerless. As you evolve, it will become less and less uncomfortable. But in the beginning, plan for the discomfort.

Discomfort is the price of evolving and when it comes to diabetes, discomfort is the price of taking charge of diabetes instead of diabetes taking charge of you.

Do you want help choosing to evolve? Do you want to build a future that includes moving forward towards a future you design? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session

DIABETES and Setting Boundaries

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: Have you ever needed to set a “boundary” on your relationship with someone regarding diabetes?

I’d like to begin by saying that most people use boundaries improperly. Most people think that saying no is a boundary, but there’s more to a boundary than that.

Actually a boundary is saying no and then following it up with a clear action as to what you will do if the boundary is crossed again. Saying no and threatening someone or telling them how they should behave is NOT a boundary.

When it comes to being a mom who has a child with diabetes there were many times that I felt the need for a boundary, but I often used the word “boundary” improperly. Every time I felt offended or was upset with someone about their comment in regards to diabetes I would want to set a boundary…limit them.

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DIABETES: Therapy vs Life Coaching

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: Do you know the main differences between Therapy and Coaching?

Some painful experiences and traumas that happen in our pasts require therapy in order for us to heal and move on in our lives. Others do not require us to go into the past to be solved. I think it’s important for us to understand some of the differences between therapy and life coaching.

Therapists in general work in a regulated industry, and that’s a huge difference between life coaches and therapists. Therapists are regulated.

Life coaching is an unregulated industry. I think this is a beautiful thing for life coaches because we have the freedom to be able to coach in a the way we want. But we also have a huge responsibility to monitor ourselves in terms of our own ethics, professionalism, and boundaries.

Most therapy is usually diagnostic based: therapists will diagnose a nonfunctioning problem that needs to be solved.

Coaching typically takes someone who is already high functioning to the next level.

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HOPE is a PROBLEM!

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: How do you feel when you hope for something?

Hope is one of those emotions that sounds good and positive, but when you check in with how you actually feel, you’ll find out that hope doesn’t serve you. Think about what action hope inspires?

The problem is hope doesn’t inspire action. Hope is passive. Hope crosses its fingers. Hope often has us reject the present moment in exchange for some possible future moment that will be better. Hope takes the action out of our lives and leaves us waiting and wanting.

When you hope for a good A1C or when you hope blood sugar numbers are within the range you’ve set, you aren’t feeling in control. Hope comes from waiting to see what your future holds, instead of creating your future on purpose.

We believe we will wake up tomorrow, but we don’t believe that we can control the anxiety and worry created by diabetes. We don’t allow ourselves to believe having a child with diabetes can exist without anxiety and worry. We don’t commit to believing. We hope but hope leaves us waiting and wanting without responsibility.

I’ve heard moms say, “I hope this all works out.” Whether it works out or not depends on your interpretation of what happens. Believing something like, “I hope this works out” is very different from, “I am committed to making this work out.”

We use hope as a way of not asking much of ourselves. We shouldn’t passively hope for things to be different by some external changes in the world or our circumstances changing.

When we hope for peace, we prevent ourselves from feeling peace now. When we hope for less anxiety and worry about diabetes, we prevent ourselves from feeling it now. Why do we hope for less anxiety and worry, if we can already have it?  When you’re a mom who takes control over diabetes, you can bring your own peace. You don’t need to hope for it, you don’t need to wait for it.

Giving up hope is the ultimate in taking responsibility. Instead of hoping life hands you what you want, you go and get it. I want you to go get it because here’s the difference.

If you go get it, then you build up your capability. You build up your capacity. You build up your confidence.

Then you know you can go get it again.

Want help building up your confidence? Want help understanding how to manage the anxiety and worry you have because of diabetes? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session by going to Book Now.

DIABETES and How to Manage Toxic People!

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: Are there any toxic people in your life?

Are there people who constantly ask annoying questions about diabetes or constantly judge you for your management of diabetes, in your life? Would you consider them toxic?

Guess what? There is no such thing as a toxic person! When my son was newly diagnosed I used to think of some people in my life as toxic, but think about what the word “toxic” means. It means poisonous.

Unless you are literally breathing in or ingesting another person, which I seriously doubt you are, there is no such thing as a toxic person. People are not poisonous.

You are just merely in the presence of someone. Thinking about someone as toxic, as poisonous, is not useful. It does not help you. It actually gives them so much power over you, but no one can poison your or be toxic to you in this way. No one is that powerful.

This is fantastic news. These are people who trigger thinking in your brain. You can change that thinking and take control over your own thoughts and not allow others’ comments or actions to control your emotions.

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