DIABETES and how to CREATE an EMOTION you want!

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: Does having a child with DIABETES create a sense of fear in you?

It did for me. What emotion does diabetes create in your life? Do you feel like you are in control of your emotions? I didn’t feel in control for the longest time…but guess what? The best thing is that every emotion is created by a thought….your thought.

So NO PROBLEM if you’re feeling unmotivated or uninspired…if you need an emotion, whether it be excitement, motivation, or inspiration, you can create it. WHAT???  That’s crazy right?

The foundation is that all emotions are created by a thought. So whatever emotion you are feeling now is created by a thought. Ask yourself what you want to feel instead??? Then decide what you need to think and believe in order to create the emotion you want.

Thoughts either create positive emotion or create negative emotion. They are OPTIONAL. What emotion do you want to create in your life?

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Changing your INNER DIALOGUE about DIABETES

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: What does your inner dialogue say about diabetes?

Are there times that your inner dialogue about diabetes is upsetting? Are there times that your inner thoughts about diabetes seem to have a mind of their own? Do they seem to be on default mode and continue around this negative loop?

Are you even aware that you have an inner dialogue about diabetes that isn’t serving you?

Do you have a inner dialogue that runs on default mode? For me it was barely noticeable. That dialogue was just so embedded in my brain that I wasn’t even aware that it was negative.  I just noticed that the results in my life were not the ones I wanted. So what’s a mom to do to change that inner dialogue about a disease that has changed so much of her life?

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Your MORNING THOUGHTS about DIABETES!

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:

Today’s question is: Have you ever awakened in the morning and had a negative thought about diabetes?

When you wake up and your thoughts about diabetes are instantly negative, it is an unconscious habit and pattern of feeling. I remember the days that my thought pattern was to wake up and instantly think negative thoughts about diabetes. I used to think about everything that could go wrong with blood sugars, school, soccer games, sleep overs, you get the picture.

When you wake up, what is your first thought? What immediately comes to mind for you about diabetes?

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DIABETES and LIMITS

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes

Today’s question is: Do you think your life is limited because of diabetes?

Have you ever thought of how limits happen? How do limits come to be? Do you know that limits are a construct of our thoughts? Limits are something we impose on ourselves.

If you were like me…all of my thoughts, after diagnosis, went to all of the things we would no longer be able to do as a family.  Also my thoughts went to what he would not be able to do in his life. My thoughts created limits for him. What are your prevailing thoughts? Are they limiting?

Why does our brain automatically go to negative thoughts? Why does our brain in default mode go to limiting thoughts? It’s our primitive brain that takes over. It’s that our primitive brain is programmed to avoid pain, seek pleasure and conserve energy. 

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SELF-DOUBT, DIABETES and being a MOM

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes

Today’s question is: Are we supposed to feel self-doubt as a mom of a child who has diabetes?

I always avoided any uncomfortable feeling. I always wanted to feel confident and in control. I believed that self-doubt meant I was weak and lacked confidence.

Is that what you believe? Do you believe that self-doubt is a sign of weakness?

Guess what? When we decide to grow and evolve to our next level, we are always going to have self-doubt as a companion. It’s just part of the process. Growing and evolving is uncomfortable.

In fact, I now believe that because self-doubt is part of growing and evolving, many people choose to stay comfortable right where they are. I chose it for a long time. What are you choosing?

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Taking OWNERSHP of DIABETES

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes

Today’s question is: Do you spend time mourning the loss of your pre-diabetes life?

Do you ever think about your life before diabetes? Do you think about what your life was supposed to look like?  Do you want your life to be different than it is? Guess what?

Your primal brain, your primitive brain wants you to live in a place that takes no responsibility. It wants you to live on default mode. It wants you to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. The easiest way to do that is to blame diabetes and to not take responsibility for your life.

So when we receive that diagnosis of diabetes we mourn the ease of the life that we imagined. We mourn what should have been.

How does that mourning feel? What do you think you mourn the most? For me, I mourned the vision of my life without diabetes. The simplicity of life.

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DIABETES and Good PARENTING

Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes

Today’s question is: Do you think you are a “successful parent” to your child who has diabetes?

When I was coaching someone last week I noticed that they were critical of their parenting ability. I asked, “What is your definition of a successful parent?” The reply was all based on the results their children achieved or they wish they achieved. What would your definition be?

The truth is that success can only be based on things that are within your control. Your children get to decide what parts of your parenting they listen to and what parts they don’t.

This is great news. It means that regardless of what your children do in this world, you get to choose how you think about your parenting ability. You can show up being the best mom you know how to and let the rest of the self-judgement go because…

When it comes to whether or not you are a good mom…you get to choose! Honestly, I’m a good mom because I think I’m a good mom.

I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in. Yes….you get to think any way you want about your parenting ability. It is not dependent on blood sugar numbers, your child’s A1C value, whether or not your child is happy, or any other condition that is outside of your control. You can’t control your child’s happiness.

The only thing you can do is to show up as a mom that makes YOU proud. Your child gets to show up as them.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t try to teach them how to be respectful, how to take care of themselves, how to eat healthy, how to be excited about learning, or the thousand other things you wish for your child. I am just saying that showing up as the best version of yourself is all that you need to do. That’s all you can do.

You cannot make your child do anything. You cannot make them happy. You cannot make them think a certain way. That’s the beauty of being human. They get to be them and you get to be you!

I’m not saying that you stop caring. I’m not saying that you don’t have consequences for actions or expectations for them. All I am saying is that you don’t tie all of your emotional well-being to what they choose to do with the knowledge you are trying to bestow on them.

To me: Accepting your child’s choice of path in this life is part of being a successful parent. Allowing them to take the knowledge you’ve instilled in them and interpret it in a way they believe is best for them.

My perspective has always been to be a good role model and to show them how diabetes is an opportunity for all of us to be stronger, happier, overcome obstacles, and be more present. It is important to me that they look to be of service to others for the greater good. They get to choose how they view diabetes in their life or if service to others is something they desire. I get to love them through it all without manipulating them so I get the result I want.

I get to show up and love them regardless of anything they choose. Regardless of blood sugar numbers or A1C…yes unconditional.

Success is not based on if they learn or accept what you teach them. Success is that you do the best you can to teach them. It’s showing them what self-love and self-care looks like. It’s being kind to yourself because they may someday remember to be kind to themselves or they might not.  That’s up to them.

You get to choose what you value as a parent. What you want to teach your child. That’s the beauty of being human. There is not a right or wrong way to do this.

Ask, “What love would do?” and follow your heart unconditionally.

That’s total freedom – controlling what you can control! Remember to control your negative internal conversations about your parenting ability. That’s totally within your control.

Want to stop judging your parenting abilities? Want to start believing in yourself and your ability to manage a child with diabetes, unconditionally? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching.  Click here to schedule a free session by going to Book Now.