Welcome to all of my Moms who have T1D kids!
Today’s question is: When you get angry do you want to justify it, especially since you are the mom of a T1D child?
When you are angry and upset do you want to argue for it? Do you want to justify it? I remember times when I did. I thought I was just entitled to be angry. After all, I had a son who had diabetes. Wasn’t I supposed to be angry?
Are you supposed to be angry? Are you entitled to be upset?
Then I started asking myself, “Is the anger useful? Is the anger destructive? Is anger a show of self-respect? Is anger a good protest against my child having diabetes?” When I felt angry, it felt useful. It felt like it was purposeful. Does your anger feel purposeful?
A lot of times you may feel that anger is powerful and purposeful, but that’s not the case.
Imagine a toddler having a temper tantrum. They feel like they are doing something important. They are on a mission and at the end of it you think they’ll feel better. That’s not the case. Living in emotional childhood means blaming someone else or something else for how we feel.
Blaming diabetes and being angry at diabetes may feel good in the moment, but coming from a place of anger rarely serves us.
Initially, I felt angry (and still do on occasion) along with feeling sad! I’m human. It’s what I needed to do. I didn’t do it intentionally. I did it from a place of fear. I did it from a place of hiding from the world and wanting diabetes to just go away. When I understood that diabetes wasn’t going away and that being angry and sad wasn’t serving me I took charge…slowly…but I took charge.
Look at why you are blaming diabetes and why you might be angry? Is it from a place of fear?
You will be able to come up with lots of evidence why you should be angry. I know I could – in an instant. Focusing on anger perpetuated the anger. It allowed me to continue to focus on what was wrong instead of what was right.
Fueling your life by anger will not propel you forward. Anger can spark a need for a change, but the change needs to be fueled by hope, desire, and determination.
Anger can be useful, but just as a signal that something has gone wrong. Allow that anger to focus your attention on purpose driven thinking. What results do you want in your life? How can diabetes be for you, instead of against you? What if you believed diabetes is a gift to you?
If you use your anger to focus on what’s right, you can use the thoughts of diabetes, the injustice of it all, to create something amazing and beautiful!
Allow the discomfort (the pain) and accept it as part of your growth. When you feel anger stop for a second and ask yourself what thought is driving that anger. That’s the thought that needs to be altered. That’s the thought that is creating negative results in your life. Work on a believable thought that creates a feeling you would like to feel. If you want to feel angry just know your reason and own it. Do it on purpose!
Want help having your anger fuel a positive change in your life? Join me in a FREE 20 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to sign up for a free session.