Welcome to all of my Moms who have a child with diabetes!
Today’s Question: What makes a relationship challenging?
A challenging person…wouldn’t you agree? Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s your thoughts about the relationship that makes it challenging.
When we think of the difficult relationships we have in our lives, nine times out of ten, we are automatically going to blame the difficulty on the other person. It doesn’t really matter if we are talking about our spouse, a friend, or a child with diabetes. Challenging relationships are caused by our thoughts about that relationship.
How can that be? Especially when you could give me a list of evidence as to why that person is challenging. Whatever that person did or didn’t do is what is considered a circumstance. A circumstance is something outside of your control. Other people are outside of your control. As much as we think we can control others – we all have agency (free will).
So if other people’s actions are outside of your control. The only thing you can control are your thoughts about what they did or didn’t. And what they did or didn’t do is totally neutral. Remember, all circumstances are neutral until we have a thought about them.
Your thoughts about a relationship is what makes the relationship challenging. Plain and simple. I always coach clients to just be sure that they are making sure the thoughts they are CHOOSING to think, are serving them.
Yes, you choose thoughts about all relationships. You have the power to choose which relationships are challenging and which ones are not. The best thing is that your thoughts can change. You have the power to alter thoughts about relationships. You just want to be sure that you believe the thought you are choosing.
Also, awareness is always the best place to start when you want to change a challenging relationship. Be aware of what you are thinking about the relationship now. Take a few minutes to write down a thought download of all of your thoughts about a particular relationship. Then contemplate how you want those thoughts to change.
It’s often helpful to think about the result you want ahead of time. How do you want the relationship to be after you change your thoughts about it? It sounds crazy but it works. Decide what kind of relationship you want and then alter your thoughts to coincide with that result.
If you want that relationship to continue to be challenging then continue to think challenging thoughts. If you want that relationship to change and be loving, understanding, tolerable, etc. then slowly change your thoughts to alight with what you want.
You’re in charge of how you think about every relationship in your life, even the challenging ones.
Would you like me to help you improve your relationship with your child who has diabetes? Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching. Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?