Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!
Today’s Question is: Do you feel anger or resentment on a daily basis?
Anger and resentment surely don’t make us happy regardless of how justified we think they are. So how do we not feel that way? Forgiveness? What is forgiveness, anyhow? Forgiveness is a verb that means to stop feeling angry or resentment toward someone for an offense, flaw, or a mistake. The only thing forgiveness requires is that you stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone.
The truth is you only need to forgive someone when you want to stop feeling angry or resentful. Sounds easy, right? No it’s not.
Most people do not forgive other people because they WANT to feel angry and resentful. A lot of people think that when they feel angry and resentful towards someone, the other person somehow experiences it. It’s not true.
The other person does NOT experience your emotion. They only experience their own interpretation of your behavior. The only thing required of you to forgive someone is to change how you feel. If you think not forgiving someone is somehow serving you, and hurting THEM, you have it absolutely backwards.
Why do you feel anger? Why do you feel resentment? The reason you feel anything is because of how you think. Your thoughts create your feelings. The circumstances of your life cannot touch your feelings because they are protected by your thoughts.
Whatever it is that the person did or did not do is a circumstance. It is totally neutral. It’s only your thought about that thing that makes it negative (or positive). That’s why you feel angry or resentful. It’s because of the thought you have about it.
Most of us (me included) take our circumstances and think horrible thoughts that create horrible feelings, instead of taking circumstances and thinking thoughts that serve us. Being angry and resentful seems righteous. It seems we have a right to feel that way because of what happened. Remember that you cannot make another person feel an emotion, so you are the only one generating that feeling of anger or resentment.
Most of the time letting go of the anger and resentment will set you free. It will allow you to grow. So how do you stop feeling anger and resentment? You change your thoughts about the situation because thoughts always create your feelings…no exception.
That person does not have to do anything for you to feel better, or for you to forgive them. You have the total power to feel better, to forgive.
Forgiveness is about how your feel, not about how you behave. This is a huge difference. It doesn’t matter how kind you are. It doesn’t matter if you’ve told them that you forgive them. That is not forgiveness. You know you’ve forgiven someone based on the way you FEEL.
As I’ve learned about forgiveness and applied it to the people in my life, I’ve also been able to forgive myself for everything that I was loathing myself for. When you can forgive yourself for being yourself, you can stop feeling guilty. You can stop feeling anger toward yourself. You can stop feeling resentment toward yourself.
Are you willing to consider a life where there’s never a need to forgive? It doesn’t mean that you don’t put up boundaries. All it means is you give up being angry and resentful. That’s the gift you can give yourself.
I can help you forgive that person and help you let go of the anger and resentment. Join me for a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching. Click HERE and go to BOOK NOW to access my schedule or email me here to let me know what day and time works for you. Are you ready to see what you are capable of?