Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes:
Today’s question is: Are there any toxic people in your life?
Are there people who constantly ask annoying questions about diabetes or constantly judge you for your management of diabetes, in your life? Would you consider them toxic?
Guess what? There is no such thing as a toxic person! When my son was newly diagnosed I used to think of some people in my life as toxic, but think about what the word “toxic” means. It means poisonous.
Unless you are literally breathing in or ingesting another person, which I seriously doubt you are, there is no such thing as a toxic person. People are not poisonous.
You are just merely in the presence of someone. Thinking about someone as toxic, as poisonous, is not useful. It does not help you. It actually gives them so much power over you, but no one can poison your or be toxic to you in this way. No one is that powerful.
This is fantastic news. These are people who trigger thinking in your brain. You can change that thinking and take control over your own thoughts and not allow others’ comments or actions to control your emotions.
There are people who you think hurt your feelings about diabetes. But people do not have the ability to hurt your feelings without your permission. You hurt your feelings with your own thinking.
Just because you “think” someone’s question about diabetes is annoying…just because they say things that you “interpret” as judgmental…just because you “think” someone in your life brings out the worst in you by how you think/act when you’re around them….doesn’t mean they are toxic.
People are allowed to do what they want. This is very important to understand. You are allowed to behave the way you want to behave. It doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences, but you are allowed to do what you want to do.
Humans can be angry, cheat, lie, be rude, and steal (to name a few.) We have free will. The sooner you understand and remember this the happier you’ll be. The sooner you will take control over your own life and stop allowing others to control it.
What really matters is how you choose to respond to other people’s behavior. You get to choose how you think about their questions. You get to decide what to feel about their comments about diabetes. You are always in charge of what you do.
You do not have to spend time with anyone you don’t want to spend time with, but you need to like your reason for not spending time with them. It’s not because they are toxic to you. You are not responsible for how others behave or for their feelings.
You are responsible for your behavior, feelings and thoughts. How you behave is never the other person’s responsibility. When other people are behaving badly, it’s because of how they are thinking and feeling not a reflection of you.
They own their thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Your own yours.
Want help controlling your thoughts about “toxic people” in your life? Want help understanding how others’ are not in charge of your feelings, thoughts or actions? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to schedule a free session by going to Book Now.