Welcome to all of my Moms who have kiddos with diabetes!
Today’s Question is: Do you struggle with making positive changes in your life?
It’s human nature to struggle with change…right? Why do we struggle with change? It’s because our brains like the status quo. Our brains like to keep doing what we are doing. It’s comfortable! Our brains don’t like to be uncomfortable even if it’s for the best. Even if change is good for us.
The process of change involves first thinking about the thing in your life that isn’t working or something that isn’t yet what you want it to be. For me it was allowing blood sugar numbers to control how I felt. Then write about what’s not working – be specific.
Then ask yourself, “What am I doing that’s creating the result that’s not working?”
Taking responsibility for the results in your life is a really important part of the process of change. I just blamed diabetes – that was the easy thing. Why change when I could just be a victim of diabetes? I finally realized I wanted more control over of how I felt and no longer wanted to blame diabetes.
I have written about “The Model” in previous blogs. It’s the basis of taking charge of your life. It’s a way to personal growth and setting goals. It’s changed my life and made the process of change powerful.
The Model is made up of a Circumstance (anything outside of your control – diabetes diagnosis) which leads to a thought (in your control and optional) which triggers a feeling (emotional response to the thought). The feeling leads us to take action, which gives you the results in your life.
What’s not working is the result you are having. Ask yourself what are you doing to create that result. For me the result of constantly being upset by blood sugar numbers was created by the action that I was obsessed with having blood sugar numbers in range. That was triggered by a feeling and thought that I needed them to be perfect or I was a failure. I was harming my child.
What’s next is to decide what result you want instead. Ask yourself what is the exact action you need to take to get that result. For me the result I wanted was to see a blood sugar that wasn’t in range and not to let that number control my day. This new result needed to start with thought that blood sugar numbers were just feedback. The feeling to follow was one of being capable. Capable of managing the number I saw. The action then was to find a solution to managing the blood sugar number. The result was exactly what I wanted – to not let the blood sugar number control my day. Instead I felt powerful.
Now you have two complete models. One is where you are, and one is where you want to be. The gap or space between the two Models is called “the river of misery” because the process of change is very uncomfortable.
When you are in the river, you have to pay attention, be deliberate, and be uncomfortable. Your mind will always prefer to think and pattern the most familiar Model. Whichever Model you focus on is the reality you’ll create. Remember to be kind to yourself in the river of misery.
The key to activating the new Model – the new result – is to practice feeling the feeling you need for the new result. For me it was a feeling of being capable.
When you visualize yourself already there in the second Model, you start to feel that new Model. You start to be that new Model, and when that happens, you create the new result. I began visualizing my day. I visualized seeing a blood sugar number out of range, understood that as feedback and took action. No drama, no allowing it to upset me.
I want to encourage you to mentally rehearse the new Model every single day. Practice the thought. Practice the feeling, the way you want to feel to create that emotion you want to create. For me it was a feeling of being capable, one of letting go of being a victim.
Keep practicing. Keep going forward until your new Model is effortless. Give yourself at least a half an hour a day to think and create your life deliberately. Practice achieving results.
Would you like help changing your thoughts about diabetes? Would you like to create new results in your life? Join me in a FREE 30 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s personal and confidential, one-on-one coaching. Click here to email me a time that works for you!