Welcome to all of my Moms who have T1D kids!
Today’s question is: What determines your mental health?
I’m here today to question what you think about mental health. Are your thoughts about mental health based strictly on whether or not you have a mental illness? What is your standard of mental health?
I challenge you to contemplate whether you have excellent mental HEALTH.
My perspective is that society bases mental health on an illness model thus the mental health standards are extremely low. Surrounded by social media and images of happiness everywhere the standard of mental health is that you should strive to be happy all the time. If you’re not…than something is wrong.
As a mom of a T1D child my reality is that I am not happy all the time.
Nor do I want to be…I want to be sad when a site change doesn’t work. I want to be sad when the Dexcom G6 order is delayed because of snow and we don’t have CGM readings for two days.
I used to just pretend that everything was just perfect until I realized through self-coaching that life is NOT supposed to be happy 100% of the time.
Why shouldn’t life be 100% happy? Why shouldn’t you just buffer (find pleasures outside of yourself – shopping, drinking, Netflix, etc) to make you happy?
You shouldn’t because the happiest moments in your life are because of the terrible moments you’ve survived.
My mission is to help the T1D community understand what wellness is and how to work towards excellent mental health. All of the thoughts in your life create your results. My Master Coach, Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School created The Model (it’s brilliant) and is the basis of all of the tools I teach. You can learn more about The Model from my Bitter or Better Blog.
The Model overview: remember that our Circumstances are always neutral (diabetes is a circumstance)
- C: Circumstances trigger our:
- T: Thoughts which create our:
- F: Feelings which drive our:
- A: Actions which create our:
- R: Results
If everything you create in your life (all of your results) come from your thoughts…it is important to be taught how to manage your thoughts intentionally. How not to go through life on default mode – trying to make yourself happy through external pleasures.
My theory is to go through life continually taking opportunities to overcome pain and adversity in order to develop mental resilience. Excellent mental health is not about positivity but about being the best version of a human you can be.
Will this be comfortable all the time? No, you will not be comfortable all the time. Will this make you happy all the time? No, it will not make you happy all the time. Will this allow you to choose how you want to think, feel, act and achieve results you want in your life?
Yes, you will gain the power and resiliency to make choices.
Our thoughts are how we interpret everything in this world. You can allow your thoughts to freak you out every day, have you be overly anxious every day, have you stressed out every day. I know that because, as a mom to a newly diagnosed T1D son, that’s what I allowed. That’s all the energy I had…to survive in default mode.
As I gained strength and learned the self-coaching model I took control over my thoughts.
How do you know that it’s your thoughts that create everything in your life? If you were in a room with 10 other mothers who had a T1D child, each one of you would have a different interpretation of diabetes. Each one of you would have a different thought about diabetes. The results in your life are based on your thoughts – it’s that simple (but not that easy.)
Diabetes is a neutral circumstance and the thought that is triggered by your brain (intentionally or unintentionally) creates all the results in your life.
It’s your interpretation of the circumstances of your life that determines your mental health. If you want to have excellent mental health you have to take control over your thoughts. You have to develop the courage and resiliency to manage diabetes as a circumstance – as a neutral event in your life. Are you allowing the circumstance of diabetes to negatively affect all aspects of your life? Are you allowing diabetes to negatively affect the relationships in your life? Are you allowing diabetes to negatively affect your relationship with yourself?
Do you regularly participate in self-loathing, the blame game, negative self-talk, because of blood sugar numbers?
I’m here to challenge you to use my self-coaching tools to develop excellent mental health! Want to learn a self-coaching model that will allow you to take control of your thoughts? Join me in a FREE 20 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to sign up for a free session.