Welcome to all of my Moms who have T1D kids!
Today’s question is: Have you lowered your expectations of yourself to avoid failing?
Do you have a fear of failing? Do you want to avoid the feelings associated with failing so much that you lower your expectations? I know I’m guilty of that. Mostly before I learned how to manage the discomfort of failing. I now know that when I fail nothing has gone wrong. I still don’t love the feelings of being ashamed and embarrassed, but I accept their presence as part of my personal growth.
Are you guilty of lowering your expectations? Are you avoiding the path to achieve your dreams because you don’t want to fail?
Google defines failure as “the omission of expected or required action.” Plain and simple. Failing isn’t a big deal! It just means something didn’t turn out like you expected. When you use diabetes to stop you from setting goals, to detract you from your dreams, to avoid failing…you are stopping yourself from growing!
The irony is that when you avoid failing because of a feeling you don’t want to feel (ashamed/embarrassed) you basically fail ahead of time. You fail because you don’t set that goal initially.
The best news is that you can choose how you feel about missing the mark when it happens. How you choose to think about it will determine how you feel. If you want to succeed, Thomas J Watson says that you need to double your rate of failure. WOW! That’s awesome!
The more you fail the more you’ll succeed. The better you get at failing, the more willing you are to learn, the better you’ll get at meeting your own expectations.
If failure is defined as not meeting your own expectations, then success would be defined by meeting them. The best way to meet expectations is to practice meeting them, make lots of mistakes and learn from what doesn’t work. Keep being proud of how you are managing diabetes!
Step One: Practice making lots of mistakes…not on purpose but step up, set a goal and know that failure is going to be part of the process.
Watching the Super Bowl last night I realized that being Super Bowl champions didn’t mean that they never fumbled, they never were intercepted, they only had wins! Every Super Bowl champion fails, fumbles, and misses field goals. They don’t win every set of downs. They just keep playing. They know that there will be times that they fail and they learn from them and move on. They decide ahead of time that they will keep playing regardless of the outcome. They don’t walk off the field and ever quit!
Step Two: Decide ahead of time that when you fail, you will not beat yourself up over it, and you will not quit!! Decide you will have your own back. Treat yourself with respect, learn from it, and love yourself even more!
Know that with every blood sugar, with every A1C, you put yourself out there, you tried, you got back up and tried again! Feel proud not embarrassed or ashamed. Doing this will make it much more likely that you continue to take action. It also makes you much more likely to take the risks that success requires. You will become much more willing to fail but you do it from a place of self love and unconditional love of your T1D child!
Step Three: Keep taking the next best action even if you fail! Keep moving forward. Keep doing the little tasks every day and see the compound effects of trying!
Know that failure will benefit you! It builds strength and confidence. Through the act of failing you get stronger each time you push yourself back up. Through the act of trying and failing, you become confident in your ability to fail well, recover, and fail again. Keep conquering diabetes one blood sugar at a time!
What if you looked at failure as a skill you could practice so you became better at it? What if we flipped failure on its head and collected it like a badge of honor. What if a minimum of 5 failures of month were required as proof you were putting yourself out there in a big way?
Stop playing small! Be all in on failure! I’ll race you to the failure line! Ready, Set, GO!
Do you need help practicing to fail? Do you want to feel differently about failing, get rid of the feelings of being ashamed and embarrassed? Join me in a FREE 20 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to sign up for a free session.