Welcome to all of my Moms who have T1D kids!
Today’s question is: Has your child’s diagnosis made you bitter or better?
I can honestly say that initially the diagnosis made me bitter. I continually asked, “Why Me?” “Why my family?” I believed that the circumstance of my son being diagnosed caused all of my negative emotions. After years of being bitter I learned that my emotions cannot be possibly caused by anything external. What? Yep that’s crazy? Diabetes absolutely could cause me to be angry, resentful, and overwhelmed…..Right? I’m happy to say, “Diabetes cannot cause you to feel bitter.” The only thing that can cause a feeling is what’s happening in your mind. A sentence in your brain!
Your thoughts 100% of the time cause you to feel bitter! You might want to feel bitter but if you want to feel better….there’s a way! The way is to change your thought! It might sound simple but it surely isn’t easy. The foundation of all of my life coaching tools is something called the Model. It was created by my Master Coach, Brooke Castillo (she’s brilliant)! Anything that happens in your life can fit into the Model. The Model is as follows:
C: Circumstance is a fact and it’s neutral, which triggers our…
T: Thoughts is a sentence in our brain, which creates our…
F: Feelings which is a sensation in our body, which drives our…
A: Actions which can be passive or active, which creates our…
R: Results intentional or unintentional.
As you can see your thoughts are the key to any result we want to create in your life!
Consequently, the steps to feeling better, instead of bitter, are to take control over your thoughts. My recurring negative thoughts had to be replaced by thoughts that were positive. Positive thoughts about diabetes at that point in my life were not believable so… I had to slowly think on purpose thoughts that were less negative until I could get to where I am today. My thought today that drives all of the results in my life is that diabetes is a gift to my family!
Learning the Model allowed me to think on purpose about my son’s diagnosis. Here are my unintentional and intention Models:
C: My son has diabetes.
T: Diabetes is controlling my life
F: Bitter – Victimized
A: Not engage in my relationships. (watched TV, turned down opportunities)
R: Diabetes did control my life – I struggled with all aspects of my life.
C: My son has diabetes.
T: Diabetes is a gift to my family
F: Better – Empowered
A: Engaged in all aspects of my life. (fundraised JDRF, networked, started family adventures)
R: Diabetes was a gift that motivated me to take control over my life.
Understanding that it took me years to go from my unintentional model to my intentional one…which involved going through what is called the River of Misery…is important. But, I want you to benefit from my journey and not have to take as long to have intentional, believable thoughts about your child having diabetes! I want the evidence that your brain comes up with about diabetes to be positive.
Want to become better and no longer be bitter about diabetes? Join me in a FREE 20 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to sign up for a free session. Let’s Chat!