Today’s question is: Is the struggle in your life optional?
If you’re a mom of a T1D child then you are aware there are days you ride the “struggle bus.” It just comes with blood sugar numbers, teachers not following 504’s, ordering supplies, and a zillion other reasons. I’m here to tell you that riding that “struggle bus” is optional. You can absolutely choose to struggle every day and choose to justify that struggle. Who would blame you – you have a child with diabetes? I’m here to say that the thought that you should, need to, have a right to “ride the struggle bus” does not serve you.
I found truckloads of evidence why I was allowed to struggle every day. I’m sure you can as well. However, as soon as I understood that the results in my life were created by the thought, “My life is going to always be a struggle because of diabetes” I knew there must be other options for my brain to think. I knew that if I wanted to create a different result in my life, I needed to venture out of my default mode, my safe mode. I had to start thinking about exactly what result I wanted as a mom of four children. What did I want to define me?
Step 1: Explore your thoughts and see what thoughts you have about your life as a mom of a T1D child.
Moving from struggling and a life that is full of worry, overwhelm and sleepless nights is not easy. It’s not easy (nor believable..YET) to move your thoughts to a place where diabetes can be a positive light in your life.
Step 2: The best way to move towards a place where you want to be…is to just neutralize that negative thought. You can neutralize it by making it factual.
Here is the progression of thoughts that I was able to work through over the years.
- My life is going to always be a struggle because of diabetes…
- Diabetes is a disease that my son has that’s difficult.
- Diabetes is just a disease inside his body.
- Diabetes is a disease that I can control.
- Diabetes is a disease I can conquer.
- Diabetes is a gift that is given to only incredible families.
- Diabetes is a gift to my family. My family is incredible.
Step 3: Explore what result you truly want in your life and find the thought that fuels that result.
Knowing what result you want in your life is important. I worked the Model backwards. I decided my desired thought to be that my family is incredible. As a review, the Model is that there is a Circumstance (factual) that triggers a Thought that creates a Feeling that drives an Action and creates all the Results in our life. If you know the result you want then the model can be worked backwards. Ask yourself, “What is the result I want in my life?” Then figure out what the ingredients are that are needed to fuel that result. You will need fuel to make a lasting change in your action. Action can be made by shear willpower without changing your thought but the result will not be sustainable. The fuel that creates lasting change is a thought that is believable and then the feeling that is created by that thought will trigger that action.
Step 4: Understand you will not get better at what you do not practice!
If you want to stop riding the “struggle bus” then you need to practice new thoughts intentionally. Your brain is comfortable with the struggle. Your primitive brain (Blog 4) wants you to stay in the “cave” cuddled where it’s safe…you’ve been struggling for years and you are surviving. In the “primitive cave” where it’s comfortable and you know the results. Once you venture to think new thoughts your brain will go to overwhelm and want to go back to the “cave.” Discomfort is the currency to your dreams. Venture out of the “cave” and off the “struggle bus” and break free of the life that’s been holding you back. As my T1D Peloton Coach, Robin Arzon states, “I’ve never met an interesting person with an easy life.” Step into your power! You can do difficult things….you do them every day! YOU GOT THIS!
Want to venture off the “struggle bus?” Join me in a FREE 20 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to sign up for a free session. Let’s Chat!