Welcome to all of my Moms who have T1D kids!
Today’s question is: Which false pleasure do you indulge in when you are feeling overwhelmed with diabetes?
False pleasure is obtained through buffering. It’s when you use external things to change how you feel emotionally. It’s easy! It’s comfortable! However, it keeps us from fully experiencing our lives. It allows us to hide from reality and to procrastinate.
Which false pleasure is your “go to?”
- You should check your social media feed.
- You should eat something.
- You should buy something.
- You should have an alcoholic beverage.
- You should watch Netflix.
This is a small list of the many things my clients do to avoid experiencing any type of negative emotion. Do you agree that you are entitled to feel happy and pleasure all the time, especially since you have a T1D child? Well, indulging in false pleasure is a natural inclination with our primitive brain in charge. It’s where were have immediate gratification and when you mix in some dopamine it becomes a loop that’s hard to break. The immediate availability of false pleasure makes it that much easier to partake. The more false pleasure you get the more false pleasure you want.
Have you considered the possibility that life could be better if you don’t have all of those false pleasures?
If you are open to the possibility of giving up false pleasures (buffering) you become more available to experience real pleasures in life. Constrain spending and you have more money (freedom.) Constrain drinking alcohol and you are more alert and available. Constrain eating and you have more energy.
What is left when you stop buffering? When you don’t have false pleasures? Most companies try and tell you that you can purchase happiness. After all, isn’t happiness inside of a can of Coca Cola?
Let’s see if you can try to remove the false pleasures and find a way to authentic happiness.
Understand when you remove those false pleasures you will feel deprived. You have accustomed your brain to needing those pleasures. You have neurotransmitters that will miss them. Why not just go through all of your life buffering – eating everything we want, drinking everything we want, and watching Netflix all day?
Why not buffer all day every day…because buffering has negative long term consequences! Buffering provides only temporary relief from negative emotion.
If you overeat, you gain weight, and you feel sick afterwards. If you buy a car you can’t afford, you feel that rush of pleasure but have the payments to manage. The list goes on and on. When you take away your false pleasures you can pursue well-being.
In the course of taking away false pleasures you get to know yourself in a deeper way and start to find the cause of your unhappiness.
Once you find the cause of your buffering you can start to change your thoughts and this is true well-being. When you work hard on managing blood sugar numbers and your child’s site stops working without you knowing it you will still get upset but you will deal with it differently.
You will use The Model (read Better or Bitter Blog for more detail) to examine the real cause of your anger. You will discover there is another option for your brain to think that will give you a better result.
Natural pleasures are the kind you are meant to experience in your life.
The ones that allow you to experience the whole gamut of emotions. The ones that allow you to build lasting relationships with others. The ones that let you maintain power and control over every aspect of your life. The more you allow yourself to experience the negative emotion from not buffering the easier it will get to not buffer.
Want to learn how to let go of buffering and false pleasures? Join me in a FREE 20 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to sign up for a free session.