Welcome to all of my Moms who have T1D kids!
Today’s question is: Is Diabetes Controlling YOUR Happiness?
If you’re a mom of a T1D child then you know that your feelings, whether you’re happy or not or whether you feel confident or defeated, can be dictated by blood sugar numbers (highs or lows). Or can those numbers really control your feelings? That’s the real question!!! When my son was first diagnosed, I honestly believed that diabetes was for sure in control of my happiness index. However, after learning my Master Coach, Brooke Castillos’ Model (See Blog 3) I now understand that nothing outside of myself can cause me to feel a certain way. So thinking that diabetes can control my life was a lie! Totally!!! It was my thought about diabetes that was controlling my happiness!
First: External things don’t control our feelings….our thoughts do! Happiness is within our control.
When you think that you are no longer in control of your happiness…you feel helpless. Also, the actions you take in your life are less than ideal and the results you create are not the ones you ever dreamed of creating! I understand that we all want to be happy! However, getting to that place involves taking control of your primitive brain! Yes…your brain is conditioned by years of being in survival mode! Your brain’s default mode is threefold. The list seems pretty innocent. However, it’s how your brain acts when you don’t take control of it.
Your primitive brain wants to:
- Stay Safe
- Avoid Pain
- Preserve Energy
Second: Your brain doesn’t want you to try and think new positive thoughts about diabetes.
It’s not the safe way to go. It takes courage and is risky to start believing that your happiness is under your control. Also it causes pain because it means you have to take responsibility for all of your feelings, actions and results. It’s easier just to blame diabetes. Additionally, it takes energy to train your brain and use your prefrontal cortex to develop a new thought pattern.
Third: What will happen when you contemplate that happiness is under your control is that you will have a feeling of confusion!
Confusion is an indulgent emotion (feeling). It gives you permission to not make a decision. It allows you to be safe. What effect does confusion have on me? When I am in a state of confusion I have a lack of energy, I feel stuck and inadequate. When I say to myself, “I’m confused” it sounds innocent. It sounds like it should be my human right. It’s anything but innocent. After reflecting about the time when I first became a mom of a T1D, the truth is that I wasn’t confused, I was just scared that I didn’t have the ability to make myself happy! Being scared is never what my primitive brain wants so I stayed in confusion for years. The difference now is that I no longer indulge in confusion! It has no benefit in my life.
Fourth: When your brain goes to confusion take charge and choose intentional thoughts – even ones that scare you, ones that you need courage to think, ones that (for sure) take work to believe. The difference is that instead of waiting for your life to happen you get to decide what YOU want in your life! It’s a gift that gives you full control over your Happiness Index!
Want to take control over your own Happiness Index? Join me in a FREE 20 minute Exploration Coaching Session! It’s confidential one-on-one coaching. Click here to sign up for a free session. Let’s Chat!